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Thursday, April 28, 2011

4 Ways to Spot a Parasitic Relationship


By definition, a parasitic relationship is one in which an organism (parasite) lives off of another (host), causing the organism harm and potential death. It is easy to identify these kinds of relationships in nature, but they are not always as quickly spotted among human partnerships. Here are a few signs that your partner bears a closer resemblance to Lothario the Leech than Lancelot the Loyal Lover.
1. Psychic Vampires
Do you often find yourself feeling depleted or drained after spending time with your partner? It’s important to look at your energy levels—spiritually, emotionally and physically—after time spent with your mate. Your long acquaintance with this behavior may blind you to it and its harmful effects. Heighten your awareness levels so that you can spot the specific emotions and feelings that arise from spending time with your partner.
2. One-Sided Favors
Are the favors your partner needs from you excessive? Again, this may be something you are so accustomed to that it will take some reflection and awareness to bring it to light. Both partners should naturally want to help one another, but all relationships require a certain amount of give and take; as soon as your mate demands more than he or she can return, you are allowing them to take advantage of you. If you are running around all day doing favors for them with little to no reciprocity, you have most certainly fallen into a parasitic relationship.
3. The Go-To Person
Have you become the go-to person regarding every problem and need in your partner’s life? It’s great for couples to rely on one another for certain things, but no one should ever be another person’s co-dependent savior. In healthy relationships, each person is independent and relies upon him or herself first and foremost. If your partner needs your help in every aspect of his or her life, their neediness becomes your barnacle.
4. Inability to Support
In a parasitic relationship—no matter how much your partner may love you—by the very nature of his dependency, he will be unable to fully support you in your time of need. Such partners may want to or attempt to, but when the time comes, they will, inevitably, fall short of the challenge. Most likely they will have seemingly valid excuses as to why they have not been able to come through for their partner; and their excuses may be accurate because their entire life has revolved around depending on others to survive. The end result, though, leaves you, the giving partner, carrying the burden and responsibility not only for your own life, but for your mate’s as well. Much as you may wish to, this is not a burden you can carry for long.

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