Even though these concerns remain unspoken, it is common, especially in young children ages three to five years old. Logically, I think it strikes this particular age group because of their vulnerability and due to the fact that they have not had their minds polluted with common beliefs of society that public schooling usually introduces. Their young minds have not yet been programmed to reason situations until they are a bit older.
So how do you tell if it’s a ghost or an imaginary friend?
A general rule is that a child is less likely to be frightened by an imaginary friend. If their encounters involve playing games, singing, and playing with stuffed animals, it’s likely that it’s an imaginary friend or a re-enactment of an event that occurred with a friend that is living. Ask your child to tell you their name and what they do together. What does the imaginary friend look like? You can even request to have the child draw a picture of the person they see. Their drawing and description can offer tremendous clues. Maybe the imaginary friend represents a figure on television, a neighbor down the street, or even a relative. You can also sort through photo albums with the child and see if the identity can be determined. Pay close attention, and see if you recognize the person.
If you hear your child humming tunes, or reciting nursery rhymes, and there is no logical explanation as to where they may have picked this up, you may want to closer examine the situation as something paranormal. When a child actually sees a ghost, they may be startled or afraid at first. They usually describe a “shadow” figure or perceive the encounter as a threat, because something just doesn’t feel quite “normal.” It can be a visual encounter, they may hear things, or even feel the sensation of being touched. Whatever the experience, what they are feeling is a loss of control of their boundary and an invasion into their personal bubble. Even a three year old can intuitively pick up on this, yet they might not know how to communicate this feeling to you. Often, the ghost will try to minimize this fear in the child by playing games or telling stories, so the child won’t feel threatened by them.
Regardless if your child is suffering from nightmares, or this is an actual paranormal encounter, the initial goal is to empower the child, so that they don’t feel threatened. The fallacy of avoiding discussing this situation, because you do not want to add to their fears, is not a solution. The best help you can offer is helping them find their confidence to enforce their boundaries and will. I have had tremendous success with the following activities – all of which empower the child.
1. Goblin Spray
Create a special blend of water with a few drops of essential oil (I suggest lavender, used for calming in aromatherapy) to create a magickal ghost busting potion. You can pour this mixture into a spray bottle with a fancy “Goblin Spray” label or even put it into a squirt gun. Allow your child to be a part of the creation of this concoction, as they will feel more empowered and believe in the potion they are creating. Allow them to sleep with this spray, and when the ghost arrives, they can banish the entity by spraying them away, and enforcing their personal boundaries by telling them to leave.
2. Magick Wand
You and your child can either make a magickal wand (by painting a stick) or buy a fancy wand at a store. Similar to the “Goblin Spray” technique as described above, simply point the wand and banish the spirit. You may even want to help your child develop a catchy phrase that makes them confident in banishing the intruding spirit, such as “Shadow man I want you to go, and when I point my wand at you, it will be so!”
3. Sacred Object
Sometimes a special object that the child can sleep with will help chase away the ghost. It could be a stuffed animal, special stone, or even a dream catcher. Placing the object above the child’s bed to offer them comfort during a ghost encounter will make them feel safe and protected. When the spirit comes, teach them to stay focused on the object, and they will remain calm and feel protected. The goal is that by diverting their attention, and distracting them, they will not acknowledge the spirit, and the spirit will eventually leave.
Lastly, you can also take an active role in this troubling situation. When your child comes to you after a ghost visitation, you can take part and demonstrate your confidence, acting as a role model. Speak to the spirit with the tones you would use with a living child, demonstrating kindness and patience, yet being authoritative. Tell the spirit point blank that loved ones are waiting for them elsewhere, and of the glorious lands awaiting them if they move on. It can be a challenge to get these free spirited beings to head towards the light, especially when they have found a new friend that recognized them.
As with any spirit encounter, the bottom line is to teach your powerless child that they do in fact hold the power and ability to prevent intrusion from another spirit. Just as your child can choose who he wants to play with on the playground, he can choose whether or not he wants to interact with this spirit. Getting him to understand this concept is the key to removing the fear. Constantly remind him that he does have a choice in this situation. Most of the time, the ghosts are not there to harm and scare, they are simply after the attention. Imagine how you would feel in this situation, and show compassion for both your child and the spirit.
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