Fear is a natural human emotion and serves the function of protecting you from harm. We all have fears, on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels; everything from the fear of death, to the fear of humiliation, loneliness or rejection.
It is important to face your fears and learn from them. Befriend them rather than run away from them. They will not disappear if you ignore them and will subconsciously show up in your life, so you may as well have a look at them, listen to them and discover what they are telling you about the beliefs you hold.
When you are conscious of your fears and the beliefs behind them, you are more able to release them and let them go, for it is what we resist that persists.
You will find the more positive your beliefs are, the more confident you are in yourself and the world, and the more trusting and less fearful you will be.
What are your main fears? What fears grip you the most?
Rejection and abandonment?
Losing control?
Failure?
Being judged or disliked?
Loss of security (whatever that mean to them, be that money, career, status, family, marriage)?
Loss of freedom?
Death?
Pain?
Betrayal?
Ridicule?
Success? (Yes, fear of success for some can be greater than the fear of failure)
Loss of beauty or youth?
Loss of Power?
Humiliation?
Being stifled or controlled?
What do your fears tell you about your beliefs about yourself, others and the world, your life-scripts, patterns and stories?
What fundamental assumptions lie behind them that could be transformed?
Do your fears come from beliefs in scarcity? Or negative beliefs about yourself, others or the world?
Many fears are based on negative past experiences that still haunt you and a fear they may re-occur.
Perhaps these experiences were many years ago in childhood and long forgotten consciously.
What happened to you that caused you pain or anxiety, be that physically or emotionally, that you consciously or unconsciously may still be afraid of happening today?
What beliefs were formed by these experiences, or what beliefs may have generated these experiences in the first place?
You may have taken on family patterns of fear, so be conscious about whether your fears are those your parents have held (and corresponding beliefs therein).
When you fear something you give it focus and attention and keep it more alive as a possibility. The more you fear something, the more you are telling yourself it is likely to happen.
Why do you fear it? What are the beliefs behind these fears?
If you fear being rejected in a relationship, for example, is it because you believe you do not deserve love and attention, that relationships don't last, that the people you love leave you, that you are not good enough, that men/ women are cold, uncaring, abandoning, non-committal, etc.?
If you have a strong fear about being burgled, mugged or robbed, do you believe the world is an unsafe place?
If you fear making a mistake, or being wrong, do you believe you are not enough, and hence strive for perfectionism to prove your worth.
If you fear loneliness, is it that you believe you are alone? That you do not yet understand that you are never alone and are ever connected to the loving source of creation, loved in every moment?
Rejection and abandonment?
Losing control?
Failure?
Being judged or disliked?
Loss of security (whatever that mean to them, be that money, career, status, family, marriage)?
Loss of freedom?
Death?
Pain?
Betrayal?
Ridicule?
Success? (Yes, fear of success for some can be greater than the fear of failure)
Loss of beauty or youth?
Loss of Power?
Humiliation?
Being stifled or controlled?
What do your fears tell you about your beliefs about yourself, others and the world, your life-scripts, patterns and stories?
What fundamental assumptions lie behind them that could be transformed?
Do your fears come from beliefs in scarcity? Or negative beliefs about yourself, others or the world?
Many fears are based on negative past experiences that still haunt you and a fear they may re-occur.
Perhaps these experiences were many years ago in childhood and long forgotten consciously.
What happened to you that caused you pain or anxiety, be that physically or emotionally, that you consciously or unconsciously may still be afraid of happening today?
What beliefs were formed by these experiences, or what beliefs may have generated these experiences in the first place?
You may have taken on family patterns of fear, so be conscious about whether your fears are those your parents have held (and corresponding beliefs therein).
When you fear something you give it focus and attention and keep it more alive as a possibility. The more you fear something, the more you are telling yourself it is likely to happen.
Why do you fear it? What are the beliefs behind these fears?
If you fear being rejected in a relationship, for example, is it because you believe you do not deserve love and attention, that relationships don't last, that the people you love leave you, that you are not good enough, that men/ women are cold, uncaring, abandoning, non-committal, etc.?
If you have a strong fear about being burgled, mugged or robbed, do you believe the world is an unsafe place?
If you fear making a mistake, or being wrong, do you believe you are not enough, and hence strive for perfectionism to prove your worth.
If you fear loneliness, is it that you believe you are alone? That you do not yet understand that you are never alone and are ever connected to the loving source of creation, loved in every moment?
Sometimes you fear loneliness because you are disconnected from yourself. It is the very absence of you that creates the vacuous, empty feeling of loneliness.
"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with."
- Wayne Dyer
- Wayne Dyer
Solitude can be a rewarding and empowering experience when you allow the presence of your being to be experienced, to sing through your consciousness radiating peace, joy, love, happiness and contentment.In this connection to your grander truer self, to your spirit, to the wonder that you are, you feel vibrantly alive, open, loving, inspired, creative, visionary, at peace and centered.
Back to your fears...
If you fear betrayal, what beliefs do you hold around betrayal? Look to your past experiences for they will give you clues.
If you fear betrayal, what beliefs do you hold around betrayal? Look to your past experiences for they will give you clues.
Have you yourself betrayed someone or even yourself? And in what way? Do you fear betrayal from another because you have not yet resolved, come to peace with or forgiven the betrayer within you?
Sometimes what you fear happening to you from the outside is a shadow aspect of yourself that you have yet to acknowledge and forgive.
As you can see, your fears raise questions, offer clues and point in directions that enable you to reach greater understanding and self-awareness.
Of the many fears we experience in life, there are two core ones.
1. The fear of not being good enough/loveable, and all the feared consequences around that (rejection, abandonment, humiliation etc.)
2. The fear of loss (which can be connected to the first fear).
When you love and value yourself, other people do too, and if they don't, it does not bother you, because that's their problem, not yours!
You are not shaken by the opinions of others for you rest in the knowing of your own value and worth; the most solid ground you can stand on.
For this reason, positive self-beliefs are essential to your sense of confidence and inner-security.
As you can see, your fears raise questions, offer clues and point in directions that enable you to reach greater understanding and self-awareness.
Of the many fears we experience in life, there are two core ones.
1. The fear of not being good enough/loveable, and all the feared consequences around that (rejection, abandonment, humiliation etc.)
2. The fear of loss (which can be connected to the first fear).
When you love and value yourself, other people do too, and if they don't, it does not bother you, because that's their problem, not yours!
You are not shaken by the opinions of others for you rest in the knowing of your own value and worth; the most solid ground you can stand on.
For this reason, positive self-beliefs are essential to your sense of confidence and inner-security.
"We can only be afraid of what we believe we are - whatever there is in ourselves that we haven't met with understanding."
- Byron Katie
People are only thinking about you what you think they are thinking, and that ultimately reflects what you are thinking about yourself!
When you fear what other people think about you, you are actually afraid of what you may secretly believe about yourself. So, to reduce your fear in what other people think about you, face your own self-judgments, face your shadows, accept and forgive yourself for any perceived faults and realize they are not who you are.
You are not your negative self-concepts, beliefs, failings or mistakes. You are born of love, returning to love.
The fear of loss is a genuine fear that exists aside love. Trust and a connection to and awareness of the eternal love of your Higher Self and Creator can help assuage levels of this fear.
We are human, we love and we can experience loss and the grief and pain that accompanies that, whether that be an ending of a relationship or the death of a loved one, yet as the saying goes, 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'.
When it comes to the end of relationships, be they friendships or loved ones, letting go enables a rebirth and the experience of new love or a new relationship to enter your life at a higher level.
In truth, there is only ever change, and love will continue to show itself in your life in new faces and forms. If you let go of the past, trust and are open to the next step on your path, it will present itself.
When you do let go, which can involve grieving, either what you have let go of comes back if it is for your best, or something even better will enter your life.
Facing and exploring your fears, which can include owning and feeling them, allows them to move through you and dissipate, leaving you feeling lighter and freer.
A healthy way to deal with your fears is to write them down. You'll be amazed at how doing this alone creates an immediate release. After writing them down I also suggest crossing them out, ripping up the paper and burning it for ultimate freedom. You will feel a great sense of release after.
It is the fears that you don't face or run away from that have the greatest hold over you. Be willing to face your fears. Feel them. Let the emotion move through you and it will dissipate.
When you review them in the light of day, many may even seem laughable.
Another antidote to fear is trust. Trust in the new positive choices you are making and the new beliefs you are incorporating. Trust in the love and grace of the Universe and the power of your heart and mind. Trust that you are on a co-creative journey, that there is a bigger picture, and that there is love, help and guidance available to you in every moment. Trust that the Universe wants you to have what you desire as much as you do. Trust that you are loved more than you know.
When you fear you try to control life, people and events, which never works, whereas trust enables openness, an ability to receive and flow that makes life the graceful dance it was always meant to be.
Trust invites the sweet anticipation of positive realities which alone is a joy to experience, and with that bright expectation, the likelihood of experiencing such favourable circumstances is, of course, enhanced.
Dwell in positive expectation and pleasurable pondering rather than fretting or fearing. Bask in your dreams, not your dreads.
Love also assuages fear. Love joins, heals, mends and ends separation, whether that be love for yourself or to or from another. Love returns you to the truth of your worth and deserving, of your innocence and the innocence of others. Through the eyes of love the world is safe and loving.
Of course, when you clear the beliefs that lie behind many of your fears, they simply disappear, and are replaced with trust, positive thoughts and happy expectations.
When you fear what other people think about you, you are actually afraid of what you may secretly believe about yourself. So, to reduce your fear in what other people think about you, face your own self-judgments, face your shadows, accept and forgive yourself for any perceived faults and realize they are not who you are.
You are not your negative self-concepts, beliefs, failings or mistakes. You are born of love, returning to love.
The fear of loss is a genuine fear that exists aside love. Trust and a connection to and awareness of the eternal love of your Higher Self and Creator can help assuage levels of this fear.
We are human, we love and we can experience loss and the grief and pain that accompanies that, whether that be an ending of a relationship or the death of a loved one, yet as the saying goes, 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'.
When it comes to the end of relationships, be they friendships or loved ones, letting go enables a rebirth and the experience of new love or a new relationship to enter your life at a higher level.
In truth, there is only ever change, and love will continue to show itself in your life in new faces and forms. If you let go of the past, trust and are open to the next step on your path, it will present itself.
When you do let go, which can involve grieving, either what you have let go of comes back if it is for your best, or something even better will enter your life.
Facing and exploring your fears, which can include owning and feeling them, allows them to move through you and dissipate, leaving you feeling lighter and freer.
A healthy way to deal with your fears is to write them down. You'll be amazed at how doing this alone creates an immediate release. After writing them down I also suggest crossing them out, ripping up the paper and burning it for ultimate freedom. You will feel a great sense of release after.
It is the fears that you don't face or run away from that have the greatest hold over you. Be willing to face your fears. Feel them. Let the emotion move through you and it will dissipate.
When you review them in the light of day, many may even seem laughable.
Another antidote to fear is trust. Trust in the new positive choices you are making and the new beliefs you are incorporating. Trust in the love and grace of the Universe and the power of your heart and mind. Trust that you are on a co-creative journey, that there is a bigger picture, and that there is love, help and guidance available to you in every moment. Trust that the Universe wants you to have what you desire as much as you do. Trust that you are loved more than you know.
When you fear you try to control life, people and events, which never works, whereas trust enables openness, an ability to receive and flow that makes life the graceful dance it was always meant to be.
Trust invites the sweet anticipation of positive realities which alone is a joy to experience, and with that bright expectation, the likelihood of experiencing such favourable circumstances is, of course, enhanced.
Dwell in positive expectation and pleasurable pondering rather than fretting or fearing. Bask in your dreams, not your dreads.
Love also assuages fear. Love joins, heals, mends and ends separation, whether that be love for yourself or to or from another. Love returns you to the truth of your worth and deserving, of your innocence and the innocence of others. Through the eyes of love the world is safe and loving.
Of course, when you clear the beliefs that lie behind many of your fears, they simply disappear, and are replaced with trust, positive thoughts and happy expectations.
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