I ’m told that sharing a checking account with one’s spouse is practical. I’ll never know—I can’t do it. All relationships have landmines; mine involve money. When I was 13, my father—whom I adored—had an affair with, and married, a woman with four children. A wealthy man, he financed them all, but never paid my mother child support regularly.

Out of the Box How do couples handle their money? Many couples simply...don’t. 43% say they didn’t discuss money before marriage; 46% say they’ve lied to their partner. Check out the infographic.

My dad and his new family moved into a mansion with a pool in a leafy suburb five states away. My mother, brother, and I squeezed into a crummy apartment. Whenever I visited, my father was either distant or hostile.Despairing, I had to remain gracious—anything to keep the checks coming. Later, Dad reneged on sending me to college, as stipulated in the divorce agreement; but he covered hisstepchildren’s tuitions. Raging, I worked two full-time jobs, sent myself to Temple University, and saved enough to sue him. I won and transferred to Columbia. I grinned through reams of written and verbal assaults. Keep the checks coming. At graduation, I was free. But I would never mix money with relationships again. For me, the two are intertwined with abandonment, dependence, power, and anger. By keeping my financesseparate from my husband’s, I can make my own mistakes and decisions—and keep my marriage free of landmines.