BY The Barefoot Doctor
When you communicate with someone, whether having a conversation for the sake of it or to get to know each other better, asking salient questions always works wonders so don’t be too shy or self-absorbed to ask about what you want to know.
But with the purpose of achieving some sort of consensus that could lead to a mutually desirable result (when you’re negotiating, in other words), the result you achieve is determined directly by how much you’re willing to remove limits in your mind about what can happen between you both – the breadth of the parameters you’re willing to give life/the Tao within which to operate. The wider the parameters you set, the bigger the possibilities achievable in negotiation.
Choose the highest possible good as an outcome
So if you begin by intending that whatever the outcome is, it will be something that’s for the highest good of all concerned, even if that doesn’t look anything like what you’d have initially thought should be the result, you’ll invariably be delighted with the outcome.
Steps to instigating a viable dialogue
The steps instigating such a conversation are to:
1. Centre yourself, relax your body, breathe slowly, sink your weight, arrive on the planet, make yourself aware of the presence (the Tao) informing and expressing itself through you and the other.
2. Clarify the intention, which is to elicit a result that will be optimally mutually beneficial, even though you don’t know how or in what form that might eventually materialize.
3. Empty your forebrain of egocentric agenda, to give space for the Tao of the situation to operate freely.
4. Open your heart and allow your love, your innate natural goodness to radiate freely, from the midst of your chest in a parabolic arc to encompass the other and simultaneously enable you to be encompassed by theirs (if even just in its latent form).
5. Arrange your body posture to face them squarely as much as possible (do this mentally if talking remotely on the phone for instance) and allow whatever communication arises from deep in your pelvic floor to surface and pass through your lips as a string of words.
Of all these steps the most important is to open your heart to embrace the other with love.
Empty yourself to receive the other
Having instigated the dialogue, the next step is to sink your consciousness back into the midbrain, let go of your own agenda again, and make space in your heart for the other to respond.
Naturally it’s impossible to exemplify this sufficiently to cover all possible types of negotiation or outcome, but using the above template is a start to achieving a wholly different set of outcomes in future negotiations of any sort.
The most important communicational step of all is to open your heart to embrace the other with love.
When you communicate with someone, whether having a conversation for the sake of it or to get to know each other better, asking salient questions always works wonders so don’t be too shy or self-absorbed to ask about what you want to know.
But with the purpose of achieving some sort of consensus that could lead to a mutually desirable result (when you’re negotiating, in other words), the result you achieve is determined directly by how much you’re willing to remove limits in your mind about what can happen between you both – the breadth of the parameters you’re willing to give life/the Tao within which to operate. The wider the parameters you set, the bigger the possibilities achievable in negotiation.
Choose the highest possible good as an outcome
So if you begin by intending that whatever the outcome is, it will be something that’s for the highest good of all concerned, even if that doesn’t look anything like what you’d have initially thought should be the result, you’ll invariably be delighted with the outcome.
Steps to instigating a viable dialogue
The steps instigating such a conversation are to:
1. Centre yourself, relax your body, breathe slowly, sink your weight, arrive on the planet, make yourself aware of the presence (the Tao) informing and expressing itself through you and the other.
2. Clarify the intention, which is to elicit a result that will be optimally mutually beneficial, even though you don’t know how or in what form that might eventually materialize.
3. Empty your forebrain of egocentric agenda, to give space for the Tao of the situation to operate freely.
4. Open your heart and allow your love, your innate natural goodness to radiate freely, from the midst of your chest in a parabolic arc to encompass the other and simultaneously enable you to be encompassed by theirs (if even just in its latent form).
5. Arrange your body posture to face them squarely as much as possible (do this mentally if talking remotely on the phone for instance) and allow whatever communication arises from deep in your pelvic floor to surface and pass through your lips as a string of words.
Of all these steps the most important is to open your heart to embrace the other with love.
Empty yourself to receive the other
Having instigated the dialogue, the next step is to sink your consciousness back into the midbrain, let go of your own agenda again, and make space in your heart for the other to respond.
Naturally it’s impossible to exemplify this sufficiently to cover all possible types of negotiation or outcome, but using the above template is a start to achieving a wholly different set of outcomes in future negotiations of any sort.
The most important communicational step of all is to open your heart to embrace the other with love.
Below are 10 timeless tips for getting happier right now!
These likely won’t come as shock revelations, and are more ever-friendly reminders – ones I personally never tire of! I trust they will serve you too.
1. Gratitude
Gratitude opens your heart and directs your energy to that which you love and what brings you joy, and in so magically attracts more of the same. What you appreciate, appreciates! Feeling grateful both gives (in its appreciation) and receives (through the opening created in that giving).
The more you value and feel grateful for ANYTHING, the more there will be to feel grateful for per se. Furthermore, when you feel grateful you experience all the beautiful qualities you feel grateful for all over again!
Gratitude is the sweet song of appreciation and turns any experience into a gift that is received.”
2. Suspend Judgment
Judging others, or yourself, lowers your energy and separates you from love and joy. Having an opinion isn’t the same as judging and doesn’t hold the harsh energy that judgment does. Even with forming or holding an opinion, be sure you know the truth of any person or situation.
Be mindful what you decide about someone you don’t know, for it will invariably reveal less of them and more of you.”
What you judge in another may be something you secretly judge in yourself that you have not yet owned and are projecting outwards. Use judgment as a means to become more conscious of yourself, you inner buttons, beliefs and repressed aspects.
If you’re pointing a finger, be sure to look in the mirror first.”
The more you love and accept yourself, the less you will judge others or be affected by the judgments of others. This doesn’t mean tolerating a situation or behaviour that you feel doesn’t honour you, more it frees you to walk your own path and leave others to theirs.
When you judge you project your shadows onto others, when you love you project your light.”
3. Trust
Trust takes you towards positive desired outcomes in a magical, effortless way. Trust yourself and your power as a creator. Trust the universe and the love, gifts, guidance and blessings it has for you. Trust the doors that are opening and the ones that are closing. Relinquish control and allow yourself to be carried along the river of trust, the universal flow that will take you to bright realities aligned to your soul’s purpose with grace and ease.
4. Honour Your Emotions
Honour your emotions and listen to what they are telling you about what’s going on inside. If they are negative or uncomfortable, what thoughts or beliefs are they pointing to that may need changing or aligning?
Express and release your feelings rather than deny, repress, control or judge them. This doesn’t mean wallowing in them or giving them undue attention if they do not serve you (i.e. nip that self-pity in the bud), nor does it mean venting them at another inappropriately (writing a letter and burning it might be far ‘cleaner’ as a means of processing before communication in some instances, for example). Honour your emotions by accepting them and allowing them to be experienced and released, be that by feeling them, writing them down, sharing them with a friend, or expressing them through creativity, for example.
5. Meditate
Meditation has so many benefits, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically, as science is now recognising and documenting. Meditation brings calm and balanced perspectives and dissipates negative states and denser energy, washing away stress and lower vibrations as you centre and realign.
Meditation creates a gateway through which divine inspiration and higher guidance can be accessed and received, as you still your conscious mind and open channels to spiritual realms and your Higher Self, enhancing intuitive senses.
Your energy field can clear, renew and recharge, and lower energies dissolve as you come to centre, connect to the light within, and ‘plug-in’ to higher realms through dedicating the time and space to honour the sacred – the sacred in you, and the sacred of the all-and-One, or whatever name you hold for the heart of creation.
6. Take Responsibility
Responsibility brings freedom and empowerment. The more you take responsibility for your life, the better able you are to change it. You create or allow your experience at some level, whether you are aware of that, or the roots and whys.
Become aware of the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes and choices that are creating your reality. Take responsibility for them and choose those that serve you and your world. Get exciting about the future, own your power and get manifesting! Shift gears from fear and problems to solutions and desired outcomes, from blame to gain, wounded to winner, falling to soaring.
One of the fastest ways to change your life is to start realising that you are its author and get writing a new script!”
7. Know You Are Loved
You are loved totally and unconditionally by the source of creation. If you do not hold spiritual beliefs, think of it as though there is a part of you that loves you completely, beyond need of a reason. There is nothing you need do to win that love, and nothing you can do to lose it. Open to this truth and allow it in, and the love that wants to be given to you in every moment. You are loved more than you will ever know, in ways beyond that which you may be able to currently conceive, understand or make sense of from your human perspective.
Opening to this love that is always there for you will help you experience more of your true value, worth and inherent deserving, and heal pain of separation and loneliness. Start by allowing in the possibility that you are totally and unconditionally loved right now, just as you are.
You are loved beyond reasons, you are loved beyond seasons, unconditionally, eternally, you are loved. “
8. Forgive Yourself and Others
Forgiveness of self and others is the ultimate mind-body-soul detox. It liberates you from toxic emotions and sets you free from the draining attachments and darker emotions non-forgiveness holds you captive to. Self-forgiveness dispels guilt, shame and undeserving that can otherwise block happiness and success. It is an immensely powerful force for healing and transformation and a most gracious gift you can give yourself.
9. Have Fun!
Fun will attract success into your life like iron filings to a magnet. In fact, fun is so much of what True Success is all about, and what your heart seeks.
If you have fun on the way to achieving your goals, you will have achieved one of life’s greatest goals.”
Fun is the antidote to stress, struggle, tediousness and seriousness. When you are having fun you are open and sharing of who you are and ride on the current of spontaneity and joy. What brings you fun, happiness and joy? Commit to more of it in all areas of your life!
Be sure to play, to make your day, sparkle with joy, so your heart says yay!”
10. Love, Love, Love!
Love yourself and others. There may be times this is easier than others, yet make it your overriding intention. There may be some people you choose to love from a distance, yet that love is still a healing energy nonetheless.
The beauty with love is, whether near or far, you can love from wherever you are.”
Love lies at the heart of all that you seek, and separation from it lies at the root of your troubles and pain. Let love be a guiding light in your life that will steer your ship through stormy waters back to the shore of happiness and joy. We all love to love and be loved! It doesn’t get better than that! It is the highest vibration there is. The more you love yourself and others, the happier, brighter and more successful your life will become.
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
A New Order of Self-Understanding
All of us know what it's like to be dogged by parts of us that want to drag us down. Call it what you will: some compulsion or obsession seems to follow us into all our relationships, only to wreck them in one way or another. We struggle as best we can to free ourselves from these dark states but invariably find ourselves short of the mark. Slowly but surely, one thing becomes clear: we start to see that calling upon who and what we have been to save us from our suffering is like asking a windstorm to neatly pile our autumn leaves. So, without giving up, we begin to open our eyes to the truth of our condition and, somewhere in the midst of our misery, we suddenly see our lives in a new kind of light. In this new awareness, a whole new order of self-understanding dawns; and, as it does, our old dark sense of self departs, taking its suffering along with it. In these healing moments, where we seem to awaken from a bad dream, there comes a new understanding of something we've always known but had somehow forgotten! Revelations like these can mean only one thing: all that we need to know to grow beyond who we currently are is already a part of our true nature.
The Masters Speak...
All of us who are human beings are in the image of God. But to be in his likeness belongs only to those who by great love have attached their freedom to God. —Diadochus of Photike (5th c., Greece)
So, in regard to disagreeable and formidable things, prudence does not consist in evasion or flight, but in courage. He who wishes to walk in the most peaceful parts of life with any serenity must screw himself up to resolution. Let him front the object of his worst apprehension, and his stoutness will commonly make his fear groundless. —Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882, United States)
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that
The Masters Speak...
All of us who are human beings are in the image of God. But to be in his likeness belongs only to those who by great love have attached their freedom to God. —Diadochus of Photike (5th c., Greece)
So, in regard to disagreeable and formidable things, prudence does not consist in evasion or flight, but in courage. He who wishes to walk in the most peaceful parts of life with any serenity must screw himself up to resolution. Let him front the object of his worst apprehension, and his stoutness will commonly make his fear groundless. —Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882, United States)
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that
Monday, 21 November 2011
Just a Little Smile
by John W. Schlatter
Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.
They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more. You saved my life."
Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.
They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more. You saved my life."
Wall-Sign Wisdom
By Robert Ringer
I recently ran across three heirloom, handwritten signs that I had pinned on my wall in my early days as a writer. The signs were positioned so that whenever I looked up from my Selectric typewriter, they were staring me in the face. Had it not been for my internalizing the words on these three signs, I doubt I would have become a successful author.
The reason I want to share these signs with you today is because I believe the rules they convey apply pretty much to any profession.
Sign No. 1: Force yourself to write; once you get going, don't stop to congratulate yourself.
Most wannabe writers make both of these mistakes. They wait to become motivated before they begin writing, which is why they remain wannabes. After more than two decades of experience, trust me: You will rarely be motivated to write.
What separates most writers from non-writers is that true writers take action and start putting words on the computer regardlessof whether or not they are motivated. In my experience, after I force myself to start writing, I find that a seamless transition takes place and I become motivated.
There is no mystery to this. What happens is that once you begin writing, it stimulates your brain and body cells and gets your creative juices flowing. Which in turn revs up your motivation. I learned this through experience while writing my first book. I felt it was such an important point that I made up a sign, tacked it on my wall, and read it every morning before I had a chance to start piddling around with procrastination projects. Writing is not about the future; writing is about putting your hands on the keyboard now.
As to the second part of the sign – once you get going, don't stop to congratulate yourself – I added these words because I found I had a tendency to stop and admire my work every time I got on a roll. While it may have appeared to be self-adulation, the truth of the matter is that I just possessed an ingenious knack for coming up with excuses for procrastinating.
I finally faced up to the reality that I had mastered the art of procrastination. But it wasn't until years later that it occurred to me that the words on this sign applied not only to writing but to just about any other profession. For example, if you're in sales – which, to one extent or another, just about everyone is – you have to force yourself to make contact with potential buyers.
Every salesperson knows that the most important determinant when it comes to achieving consistent results is his willingness to apply action and rely on a powerful universal principle known as the law of averages. If you want results, the law of averages literally guarantees to deliver them to you, provided you supply the action.
Likewise, salespeople have to avoid falling into the trap of congratulating themselves after every sale. One of the reasons I achieved mega-success as a real estate broker years before I became a writer is that as soon as I got a check in my hand, no matter how big it was, I was off to work on the next deal.
Regardless of the business you're in, don't coddle yourself. Celebrating deal closings is for amateurs. If you want to celebrate, do it by quickly moving on to the next deal.
Sign No. 2: Simplicity is crucial. Can the reader quickly and clearly understand what you are trying to say? Eliminate verbal furniture.
I learned this little gem from William Strunk's timeless classicThe Elements of Style. Even though the book is very old, everything Strunk said in it still holds true today, especially the little jewel that follows:
"Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell."
Simplicity is a crucial aspect of quality writing. I constantly remind would-be writers that the power of the understatement is enormous.
I'm always amazed at how many extraneous words and sentences I find in draft after draft of everything I write. I'm even more amazed by how many extraneous words and sentences people leave in their finished works – from books to e-mails. Day in and day out, I read words and sentences that detract from the main point that the writer appears to be attempting to make.
Each of the three sentences on Sign No. 2 applies to your business, whatever it may be. For example, when you present a deal to someone, simplicity is crucial. Don't clutter up your presentation with verbal furniture. If you add unnecessary words or sentences, all you accomplish is to make it more difficult for the prospect to understand your main point or points.
That, in turn, makes it more difficult for him to make a decision. When making a presentation, remember that you're not there to give a speech or impress the other person with your knowledge. Your sole focus should be on closing the deal.
This is especially true if you're trying to raise money: (1) Tell the person exactly what you want from him; (2) tell him precisely what you intend to do with the money; then, (3) tell him what's in it for him if things work out precisely as you have projected. Everything else is fluff.
Sign No. 3: Don't try to be all things to all people. Go after a specific market, and don't make apologies to those who aren't part of that market.
Authors are just like anyone else – they want to be loved. Or at least admired and respected. But this is a human need that can be fatal to a writer. If you try to please everyone – or, the corollary, try not to offend anyone – you become a "mushy" writer. Bymushy, I mean someone whose message is not clear-cut.
If you're an author, you don't want to sell ten thousand books to sleepwalking people who see you as a politically correct boy scout who preaches conventional wisdom. The idea is to sell one million books to a market of people who see you as differentfrom other writers in your genre who are all preaching the same thing.
However, when you're different from others in the pack, realize that there will be a lot of people who will not like what you have to say, and some who will even hate it for it. Which is okay. It's a big marketplace out there.
Regardless of the business you're in, if you try to be all things to all people, you're likely to end up without an enthusiastic, loyal group of customers. Go after a specific market, and don't make apologies to those who don't like your product or service.
People who have no interest in what you're selling haven't committed a crime. They've just voted with their pocketbooks. No big deal. They just aren't part of your market.
Instead of letting it bother you, take your desire to please everyone and convert it into energy aimed at improving the product or service you sell to your market. The people who like what you produce are the ones who deserve your time and attention. A relatively small but loyal following can secure, at a minimum, a very nice lifestyle for you and your family.
Please be my guest and customize these three signs to fit your own unique situation. Then, hang them on your wall where you can review them daily. I guarantee that they'll make a difference in your results.
I recently ran across three heirloom, handwritten signs that I had pinned on my wall in my early days as a writer. The signs were positioned so that whenever I looked up from my Selectric typewriter, they were staring me in the face. Had it not been for my internalizing the words on these three signs, I doubt I would have become a successful author.
The reason I want to share these signs with you today is because I believe the rules they convey apply pretty much to any profession.
Sign No. 1: Force yourself to write; once you get going, don't stop to congratulate yourself.
Most wannabe writers make both of these mistakes. They wait to become motivated before they begin writing, which is why they remain wannabes. After more than two decades of experience, trust me: You will rarely be motivated to write.
What separates most writers from non-writers is that true writers take action and start putting words on the computer regardlessof whether or not they are motivated. In my experience, after I force myself to start writing, I find that a seamless transition takes place and I become motivated.
There is no mystery to this. What happens is that once you begin writing, it stimulates your brain and body cells and gets your creative juices flowing. Which in turn revs up your motivation. I learned this through experience while writing my first book. I felt it was such an important point that I made up a sign, tacked it on my wall, and read it every morning before I had a chance to start piddling around with procrastination projects. Writing is not about the future; writing is about putting your hands on the keyboard now.
As to the second part of the sign – once you get going, don't stop to congratulate yourself – I added these words because I found I had a tendency to stop and admire my work every time I got on a roll. While it may have appeared to be self-adulation, the truth of the matter is that I just possessed an ingenious knack for coming up with excuses for procrastinating.
I finally faced up to the reality that I had mastered the art of procrastination. But it wasn't until years later that it occurred to me that the words on this sign applied not only to writing but to just about any other profession. For example, if you're in sales – which, to one extent or another, just about everyone is – you have to force yourself to make contact with potential buyers.
Every salesperson knows that the most important determinant when it comes to achieving consistent results is his willingness to apply action and rely on a powerful universal principle known as the law of averages. If you want results, the law of averages literally guarantees to deliver them to you, provided you supply the action.
Likewise, salespeople have to avoid falling into the trap of congratulating themselves after every sale. One of the reasons I achieved mega-success as a real estate broker years before I became a writer is that as soon as I got a check in my hand, no matter how big it was, I was off to work on the next deal.
Regardless of the business you're in, don't coddle yourself. Celebrating deal closings is for amateurs. If you want to celebrate, do it by quickly moving on to the next deal.
Sign No. 2: Simplicity is crucial. Can the reader quickly and clearly understand what you are trying to say? Eliminate verbal furniture.
I learned this little gem from William Strunk's timeless classicThe Elements of Style. Even though the book is very old, everything Strunk said in it still holds true today, especially the little jewel that follows:
"Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell."
Simplicity is a crucial aspect of quality writing. I constantly remind would-be writers that the power of the understatement is enormous.
I'm always amazed at how many extraneous words and sentences I find in draft after draft of everything I write. I'm even more amazed by how many extraneous words and sentences people leave in their finished works – from books to e-mails. Day in and day out, I read words and sentences that detract from the main point that the writer appears to be attempting to make.
Each of the three sentences on Sign No. 2 applies to your business, whatever it may be. For example, when you present a deal to someone, simplicity is crucial. Don't clutter up your presentation with verbal furniture. If you add unnecessary words or sentences, all you accomplish is to make it more difficult for the prospect to understand your main point or points.
That, in turn, makes it more difficult for him to make a decision. When making a presentation, remember that you're not there to give a speech or impress the other person with your knowledge. Your sole focus should be on closing the deal.
This is especially true if you're trying to raise money: (1) Tell the person exactly what you want from him; (2) tell him precisely what you intend to do with the money; then, (3) tell him what's in it for him if things work out precisely as you have projected. Everything else is fluff.
Sign No. 3: Don't try to be all things to all people. Go after a specific market, and don't make apologies to those who aren't part of that market.
Authors are just like anyone else – they want to be loved. Or at least admired and respected. But this is a human need that can be fatal to a writer. If you try to please everyone – or, the corollary, try not to offend anyone – you become a "mushy" writer. Bymushy, I mean someone whose message is not clear-cut.
If you're an author, you don't want to sell ten thousand books to sleepwalking people who see you as a politically correct boy scout who preaches conventional wisdom. The idea is to sell one million books to a market of people who see you as differentfrom other writers in your genre who are all preaching the same thing.
However, when you're different from others in the pack, realize that there will be a lot of people who will not like what you have to say, and some who will even hate it for it. Which is okay. It's a big marketplace out there.
Regardless of the business you're in, if you try to be all things to all people, you're likely to end up without an enthusiastic, loyal group of customers. Go after a specific market, and don't make apologies to those who don't like your product or service.
People who have no interest in what you're selling haven't committed a crime. They've just voted with their pocketbooks. No big deal. They just aren't part of your market.
Instead of letting it bother you, take your desire to please everyone and convert it into energy aimed at improving the product or service you sell to your market. The people who like what you produce are the ones who deserve your time and attention. A relatively small but loyal following can secure, at a minimum, a very nice lifestyle for you and your family.
Please be my guest and customize these three signs to fit your own unique situation. Then, hang them on your wall where you can review them daily. I guarantee that they'll make a difference in your results.
Role Modeling For Success
By Ryan Murdock
Do you struggle with Goal Setting?
I'm not surprised.
"Goal setting" has either been beaten into unbearable dullness by the anal retentive authors of certain business books, or it's been co-opted by unicorn-riding New Age "thinkers" who tell you all you've gotta do is imagine really hard and that Lotus Esprit will show up in your driveway. So you're either doomed to drooling boredom or confined to strait jackets and padded rooms.
It doesn't have to be that way. Goal setting is simple, and it forms a key pillar of the Shapeshifter Lifestyle strategies I share with my fitness clients.
So you've got your big dream. You know what you want. But how do you break it down into concrete, achievable steps? That's exactly what one of my readers wanted to know...
Dale asked me: "I know what I want to achieve, but trying to set all the little goals to get to that point kills me. If your goal is something you have never achieved, how do you realistically know the steps to get there?"
It's an excellent question, and an honest one. Your goal is pretty much always something you've never achieved. Otherwise why would you bother? But how the heck do you orient your compass when you don't have a map?
It's actually pretty easy. You just map the process of another person who has achieved the same or a similar goal.
Find a "role model" who has the sort of lifestyle you're trying to create. What did he or she go through to get there? What specific things worked, and which "dead ends" should you avoid? What skills or traits does this person embody?
Compare these details to where you are right now. Then figure out what's missing from YOUR equation – and how you're going to get it.
I'll share a personal story that illustrates exactly what I mean.
When I'm not helping average folks redesign beautiful bodies with the Shapeshifter fitness program, I'm also a professional travel writer. How did I learn to write well enough that magazines would want to send me on expeditions at their expense? I didn't have a teacher, that's for sure! I did it by myself, sitting alone in a room. Writing isn't something you can be taught – but it IS something that can be learned.
When I was first starting to write, I devoured the work of a writer whose style and worldview I admired. His name was Lawrence Durrell. I read absolutely everything he published, right down to the most obscure collection in university libraries. Then I read his published letters. Then I read all the biographies that had been written about him. Finally, I read critical articles about his work to see if I agreed with the opinions formed by these authors, or if I'd missed any nuances.
By the time I was finished I knew so much about Lawrence Durrell's life, and I'd followed his creative process at such a deep level through his work, that I had a pretty clear sense of the skills he developed and how he got there. I also assessed myself – clearly and honestly – to see where my own writing fell short. And then I worked backwards from my vision to my current state to build the skills I needed, step by step.
Yeah, that sounds like a lot of work. But it wasn't enough...
I followed this same process with every writer whose work resonated with me on a deep level: Paul Theroux (who I consider the greatest living travel writer), Henry Miller, Jack Kerouac, Arthur Rimbaud, and Steve Kilbey.
I lived and breathed my craft. I read the classics. I read poetry to understand how to manipulate images in original ways. I read history and psychology to inform my work. I read old explorer's journals to honour those who came before me. And I'm still doing it a decade and a half later.
So yeah, that's it. That's how you do it.
Mapping is a sure fire way to discover the path to the dream you want to live rather than just wish for. All it takes is a little work.
So who do YOU admire? Who has the type of business you aspire to create? Who lives with the kind of energy and joie de vivre you'd like to experience? Who has surrounded themselves with the kind relationships and friendships you want in your life? And who embodies the career of your dreams?
Pick one person and start your own modeling process. This person can be someone close to you, someone famous, or even a fictional character. The important thing is to go deep and truly feel, know and understand what makes that person someone you admire. How do they act, think and feel? What would they do in a given situation?
Then start imagining, practicing and applying those actions and reactions to yourself
Do you struggle with Goal Setting?
I'm not surprised.
"Goal setting" has either been beaten into unbearable dullness by the anal retentive authors of certain business books, or it's been co-opted by unicorn-riding New Age "thinkers" who tell you all you've gotta do is imagine really hard and that Lotus Esprit will show up in your driveway. So you're either doomed to drooling boredom or confined to strait jackets and padded rooms.
It doesn't have to be that way. Goal setting is simple, and it forms a key pillar of the Shapeshifter Lifestyle strategies I share with my fitness clients.
So you've got your big dream. You know what you want. But how do you break it down into concrete, achievable steps? That's exactly what one of my readers wanted to know...
Dale asked me: "I know what I want to achieve, but trying to set all the little goals to get to that point kills me. If your goal is something you have never achieved, how do you realistically know the steps to get there?"
It's an excellent question, and an honest one. Your goal is pretty much always something you've never achieved. Otherwise why would you bother? But how the heck do you orient your compass when you don't have a map?
It's actually pretty easy. You just map the process of another person who has achieved the same or a similar goal.
Find a "role model" who has the sort of lifestyle you're trying to create. What did he or she go through to get there? What specific things worked, and which "dead ends" should you avoid? What skills or traits does this person embody?
Compare these details to where you are right now. Then figure out what's missing from YOUR equation – and how you're going to get it.
I'll share a personal story that illustrates exactly what I mean.
When I'm not helping average folks redesign beautiful bodies with the Shapeshifter fitness program, I'm also a professional travel writer. How did I learn to write well enough that magazines would want to send me on expeditions at their expense? I didn't have a teacher, that's for sure! I did it by myself, sitting alone in a room. Writing isn't something you can be taught – but it IS something that can be learned.
When I was first starting to write, I devoured the work of a writer whose style and worldview I admired. His name was Lawrence Durrell. I read absolutely everything he published, right down to the most obscure collection in university libraries. Then I read his published letters. Then I read all the biographies that had been written about him. Finally, I read critical articles about his work to see if I agreed with the opinions formed by these authors, or if I'd missed any nuances.
By the time I was finished I knew so much about Lawrence Durrell's life, and I'd followed his creative process at such a deep level through his work, that I had a pretty clear sense of the skills he developed and how he got there. I also assessed myself – clearly and honestly – to see where my own writing fell short. And then I worked backwards from my vision to my current state to build the skills I needed, step by step.
Yeah, that sounds like a lot of work. But it wasn't enough...
I followed this same process with every writer whose work resonated with me on a deep level: Paul Theroux (who I consider the greatest living travel writer), Henry Miller, Jack Kerouac, Arthur Rimbaud, and Steve Kilbey.
I lived and breathed my craft. I read the classics. I read poetry to understand how to manipulate images in original ways. I read history and psychology to inform my work. I read old explorer's journals to honour those who came before me. And I'm still doing it a decade and a half later.
So yeah, that's it. That's how you do it.
Mapping is a sure fire way to discover the path to the dream you want to live rather than just wish for. All it takes is a little work.
So who do YOU admire? Who has the type of business you aspire to create? Who lives with the kind of energy and joie de vivre you'd like to experience? Who has surrounded themselves with the kind relationships and friendships you want in your life? And who embodies the career of your dreams?
Pick one person and start your own modeling process. This person can be someone close to you, someone famous, or even a fictional character. The important thing is to go deep and truly feel, know and understand what makes that person someone you admire. How do they act, think and feel? What would they do in a given situation?
Then start imagining, practicing and applying those actions and reactions to yourself
Be Happy at Any Age… By Living in the Moment
Remember the good old days when we would proudly state how old we were? “I’m Sweet 16!” or “I’m finally going to be 21!!” Now, we may share our birth month and day, but rarely the year—unless prodded to do so. I, for one, was not excited to be creeping up on 30 and still not be married or have children. As an only child, my parents sure weren’t pleased either… But then, an idea hit me one day: When I dwell on the future and what I don’t have now (yet want so badly), am I not pressuring myself to age faster? Why am I not enjoying the things I have in this moment of time, like a great career and a new home, instead of always keeping my focus on the next thing I want to achieve? If I hold on to this mindset, then I will eventually find myself married with children and then not enjoying those experiences because I’ll be looking forward to retirement and my kids going off to college! That would not be a life of happiness; that would be a life of impatience.
This profound realization, to live in the moment so I can enjoy my current age, came as a result of reading a famous quote from Abraham Lincoln that I found randomly on the Internet: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” After reading this aphorism several times and letting it resonate, I thought back about each year of my life and noticed that age 28 (my current age) has been the best year ever because I have been living my life to the absolute fullest.Specifically, I started going to social gatherings whenever invited, I more aggressively worked toward meeting my personal and professional goals, and I am doing the things I have always wanted to do but never made time for, such as going to all the restaurants on my “Must-Eat-There” list. These fun, light activities brought me back to life, made the year memorable, and showed me that I can be happy at any age, but only if I make the things I enjoy happen! Happiness doesn’t just fall in one’s lap; happiness comes as a result of actively pursuing whatever makes you content. When you do this, you are not only more pleased on the inside, but also you exude joy on the outside, which makes you appear more youthful
This profound realization, to live in the moment so I can enjoy my current age, came as a result of reading a famous quote from Abraham Lincoln that I found randomly on the Internet: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” After reading this aphorism several times and letting it resonate, I thought back about each year of my life and noticed that age 28 (my current age) has been the best year ever because I have been living my life to the absolute fullest.Specifically, I started going to social gatherings whenever invited, I more aggressively worked toward meeting my personal and professional goals, and I am doing the things I have always wanted to do but never made time for, such as going to all the restaurants on my “Must-Eat-There” list. These fun, light activities brought me back to life, made the year memorable, and showed me that I can be happy at any age, but only if I make the things I enjoy happen! Happiness doesn’t just fall in one’s lap; happiness comes as a result of actively pursuing whatever makes you content. When you do this, you are not only more pleased on the inside, but also you exude joy on the outside, which makes you appear more youthful
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