Advice on Advice

by Michael Webb



A few years ago I had a friend whom was having problems in his
marriage. He confided in a friend and received some advice. Some
very bad advice. Advice that would have probably launched his
marriage over a proverbial cliff had he followed it. Fortunately,
my friend decided to ask some others and me what we thought of the
situation and the advice he had been given. He ignored the first
piece of advice and is still married because of it.

Because of my career in writing and speaking about relationships, a
lot of people seek me out for advice. Here is my advice on asking
for advice.

* In a multitude of counselors, there is wisdom. I love this
biblical teaching. Don't just accept a friend's advice. Don't take
your psychiatrists advice. Don't believe a word I say. Be cautious
about what your Pastor might tell you. Don't act on anyone's advice
UNTIL you have heard from a few friends, counselors or experts on
the subject. Always get a second and possibly third opinion on
serious issues.

* If you are seeking marriage advice, talk to someone who has a
blissful relationship. I probably wouldn't ask a three time
divorced friend for marriage advice just like I wouldn't ask a
homeless person for business tips.

* Don't assume that just because someone has a Doctorate that you
will get good advice. Educated men and women disagree with each
other all the time. Much of their advice is certain to be helpful
but keep your mind open for advice that just doesn't "seem right."

* Don't go searching for the answer you want. If everyone tells you
that you are a chauvinist pig, then don't keep looking for someone
who will say otherwise. Accept their advice and make a change.  If
many people tell you to separate yourself from your abusive husband
or boyfriend, then simply do it.

* Ask at the right time. If you want to get advice from some
friends, make sure you have enough time to fully discuss the issue.
One can't give good advice unless they know most or all of the
story