The Christmas Baby...

By Ivy Banerjee

The Best things in Life are unseen...That's why we Close our Eyes when we Cry, Laugh,Kiss,and Dream...

"I will just disown her if you further go on with your bickering..." Justin roared.

Violet just sat still for hours...as her world came crashing down on her...Justin sat back watching into space...did it ever occur..to him..how the comment would affect their little family of three...just because little Hannah had been crying to go out for a walk with “Daddy” and Violet had tried to explain out a child’s mind and had seconded her daughter.

Little Hannah watched the two for a while and quietly walked up to Violet...

"Momma...are you not feeling well? Would you like a sandwich? I can make you one."

Violet's eyes glistened with love and warmth for her little five year old, who had climbed up into her lap and was now busy trying to smooth her Mamma's worry wrinkled forehead with her soft little palms as she tried to look into her eyes her own wide with concern.

Hastily rubbing her tear brimmed eyes for the fear her little pumpkin see her cry...she gave a wobbly smile and asked " And now..how would you make one for Momma?"

"I know how to make one" she said eagerly smiling

"Well who taught you dear?"

"I saw you making them for Daddy and me?" she said matter of fact.

Violet smiled and nodded her approval "Only if you let me help you dear" she said.

"Okay Momma" came the quick reply as she skipped away to the refrigerator.

Violet sighed... looked  wearily at Justin as she got up to find peace in the simple pleasure of helping her daughter make sandwiches for dinner.

It was always like this nowadays for the past year...ever since Justin had suffered a sudden attack of muscular  breakdown .The ever going treatment and various Painful tests for starters already had him breaking from his insides but ultimately the Doctor's statement did the final trick of sending him into serious depression. The Statement told him he could never have kids again or even if he did they would not turn out to be normal. The ever so strong and lighthearted Justin was never the same again. He was once the fortress...the stronghold for the family of three. Hannah the light of his eyes was now constantly being scolded and reprimanded for her innocent comments. A happy and healthy Hannah who always bubbled with energy when her Daddy walked into her Daycare to pick her up at the end of the day...was now sombre and cautious when he was around.

His daily routine was now confined to completing the simplest of tasks like brushing his teeth and taking a bath which took a toll on his shattered confidence all the more. Justin now refused to take little Hannah out to play or drop her to school or pick her up from the Daycare. He even refused to go to his counselling classes. He loathed into self pity or threw temper fits from time to time which sometime sent the frightened little Hannah scampering off to the neighbor’s. Dan and Alice were God sent. They were more of family than neighbour's. There son Ruck and Hannah often played together.

Violet stretched her schedule without complaining these days so that little Hannah never ever felt the pain of rejection of fatherly love.The vibrant Violet his high school sweetheart with whom Justin had fallen in Love was now always wary of her behaviour around his sceptical scrutiny. She tried to always put on a calm front when answering his untoward questions about her whereabouts and tried to brave the situation with a subtle confidence which had developed over the months. She too was a single child of her parents brought up with love and care and at the same time her parents had turned her out into a caring and grounded individual .Violet was  bent on bringing Hannah the same way up.

Whereas Justin had a painful childhood. His Parents had never stayed together.Never had he been a part of the warmth of a close knit family or felt the need of one until he had met Violet. But he had never lost hope of creating one of his own. Violet was like a ray of Hope to his wishful thinking . He had first noticed her at the fresher's ball,laughing at something one of his friends had said. She turned out to be a carefree, intelligent, simple and a helpful girl whom the professors admired. He had approached her fearing she would scorn him off but was taken aback by her frank simplicity. He was actually bowled over with her way of handling the bad guys who approached her and walked away with sheepish grins all over there face. They now actually tried to get in her good books.He felt he was actually overreacting but was taken aback when he came to know she came from one of the very well known families across the terrain.When the word ran about  that she was going around with one of the guys he was overcome with a sense of overbearing jealousy that surely surprised him.These feelings were strange and foreign and he was confused. The next day he had simply approached her and stammered out a weak proposal. She had simply laughed and kissed him on the cheek, looked into his eyes and said "Why did you have to wait so long?".

Violet had this uncanny sense of gauging people and future, hence she was always composed in any untoward circumstances. She always said "Come what may!!"

She did all she could to keep Justin at peace but the depression got the better of him and he was always lost in his own thoughts.She had planned to tell him today...to surprise him...but she could not  seem to begin with it. The hormones too were playing havoc she comforted herself . The doctor had assured her to break the news very slowly however happy it might be. So she decide to write it out to him.

The next day she handed little Hannah the letter along with her Gynecological reports, "Baby will you please give this to Daddy?"

"Sure Momma" she said and skipped gaily to the next room handed it to Justin and hopped away to play with her dolls, while Violet quietly stood outside the room watching the reactions on Justin's face.

Justin slowly went through the papers smiled and got up hurriedly. Violet's heart skipped a beat.It had been a long time when Justin had reacted like this to any good news.She stepped in front of him smiling too. They hugged each other tears streaming down there cheeks.

Justin just said "Congratulations Mamma" and kissed her tenderly. Violet was still smiling when she felt Justin tense in her embrace,"What is it?" she asked searching his face.

 "It is not possible" He mumbled

 "It's not my baby!!!" He screamed.

Violet felt her heart go numb.He hurriedly pushed her away and went back into the room and banged the door shut on her face.She knocked and called out to him.The room seemed to sway in front of her.She last heard a faint scream-her Hannah was screaming as everything went dark.

She opened her eyes to a brightly lit room and several pair of eyes looking down at her.'W-what happened?" She tried to get up but a firm hand stayed her.

"You fainted dear"came Alice's reply.

"W-Where's Hannah?"

"At my place ,now don't you worry"chided her longtime friend and neighbour ." She intimated us how you had fallen down"

"A smart kid, she is, just like you" said the doctor smiling.

She smiled faintly and asked "How long have I been here?"

"A few days.You were into shock so we kept you under observation"" said the Doctor smiling

"How long?" she asked faintly thinking about Hannah

"Fourteen Days" replied Alice "And Justin and Hannah are staying with us."she assured hurriedly.

 The doctor gave her a few medicines and smiled before  he said" I understand you have been through a lot Mrs.Jennings, but now you need to take good care of yourself and the baby. Sometime you need to be strong to face these situations.Good luck and take good Care." He was serious now "WE almost lost you the other day."  he said  as he walked away.

 Alice hugged her and smiled,"Congratulations dear. Now let's go"

She drove her home and assured her to rest while she fed little Hannah. Hannah was happily eating away the apple pie ,giving her stickyt kisses and reaching up to hug her from time to time.Violet closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.She woke with a start-Justin!!, what about him? She wearily got up and found little Hannah sleeping beside her.Alice had not disturbed her while she slept.She sent a silent prayer for her dear friend"God bless her dear soul."

"Justin"she called out

"Jus?"

She hurriedly checked all the rooms. He was nowhere to be found. She was panicking now.She called up Alice."Where's Jus, I can't find him".

"He is with us" she assured, "watching the TV.Don't worry you just rest, Dan and me are talking to him too. You know how panicky he gets sometimes.He in fact is feeling very sorry.This is okay you know," she said hurriedly " at least he has started thinking about you. You just go and rest for today we will send him in the morning."

She waddled to the bed and drifted off to sleep inhaling the mixed fragrance of baby soap and  freshly washed linen.She woke to the wet kisses of her daughter and sunlight streaming into the room."Good Morning Momma?"

"Good Morning pumpkin" she smiled groggily.

"When's Baby comin'?" she asked excitedly.

"Christmas" She smiled as she held her close and felt her whole being come back to life again.

"When's Christmas?"

"Soon dear,"she smiled.

"Boy or a Girl?"

"Well let's see what Santa sends us?"

"What will we name it?"

"Chris if it is a boy and Christmas if it is a girl" she answered and got up to make breakfast.

She was surprised to hear Justin humming into the kitchen.

"Now what are you doing here?" Violet asked warily.

He stiffened "I-I am sorry" and turned slowly.

"It's okay" she mumbled unsure of what else to say. She was feeling tired again and hurried off to the basin as the similar nausea engulfed her.

Justin was beside her and rubbing her back as she slumped into his weak frame.He held her till she was okay and walked her out to the divan. She lay down as Justin and Hannah hovered over her like two busy hens arranging her bed cloths and fluffing her pillow. She drifted off to sleep again.

She woke to the aroma of freshly fried eggs and bacon and felt hungry, really hungry as hungry as if she could eat a whole pig.That was a good sign as per the doctor.

Justin brought in the tray and smiled hesitantly at her, She smiled back and patted the bed beside her. He laid the tray on her lap and sat beside her and cleared his throat.

"Where's Hannah?" she asked her eyes searching for her sunshine.

"She is off to school." he replied.

"Okay, but who got her ready?"

"You taught her well Violet, I felt such a pig when I saw her all dressed and ready.When did she learn all this?"

"When you were not well" replied Violet hesitantly."She wanted to help me." her voice almost a whisper now."I couldn't manage sometimes you know"

"Hmmmm...I missed quite a lot it seems." he mumbled, his voice had gone taut and he was gripping the bedpost so hard that his knuckles had gone white. Gosh what had come over him. He had almost lost his little family he thought.

"Things happen Jus, You couldn't help it" Violet was quickly assuring him fearing another outburst. She was panicking again.

She hurriedly tried to get up but Justin held her firmly back as he looked into her eyes and spoke" I am Sorry Vi," he cleared his throat again" will you be able to forgive me ever?"searching her eyes for the truth

"Yes Jus."Violet gulped.

"I am okay and I am also going to my classes" he assured back in return and surprisingly he sounded so sure of himself that Violet felt her eyes burn with unshed tears as she closed her eyes and leaned into him feeling his strength as she thought...

The Best things in Life are unseen...That's why we Close our Eyes when we Cry, Laugh, Kiss, and Dream...

:)