War Strategy

Law 1
Never Outshine the Master
Always make those above you feel comfortably superior.  In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite - inspire fear and insecurity.  Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

Law 2
Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends - they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy.  They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove.  In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies.  If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Law 3
Conceal your Intentions
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions.  If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense.  Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

Law 4
Always Say Less than Necessary
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control.  Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike.  Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less.  The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Law 5
So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life
Reputation is the cornerstone of power.  Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides.  Make your reputation unassailable.  Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen.  Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations.  Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Law 6
Court Attention at all Cost
Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing.  Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion.  Stand out.  Be conspicuous, at all cost.  Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.

Law 7
Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit
Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause.  Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed.  In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered.  Never do yourself what others can do for you.

Law 8
Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary
When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control.  It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process.  Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack.  You hold the cards.

Law 9
Win through your Actions, Never through Argument
Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory:  The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion.  It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word.  Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Law 10
Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
You can die from someone else's misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease.  You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster.  The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you.  Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Law 11
Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted.  The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have.  Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear.  Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

Law 12
Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim
One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones.  Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people.  Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will.  A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.

Law 13
When Asking for Help, Appeal to People's Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude
If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds.  He will find a way to ignore you.  Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion.  He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

Law 14
Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy
Knowing about your rival is critical.  Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead.  Better still: Play the spy yourself.  In polite social encounters, learn to probe.  Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions.  There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

Law 15
Crush your Enemy Totally
All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely.  (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.)  If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out.  More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation:  The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge.  Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.

Law 16
Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Too much circulation makes the price go down:  The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear.  If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.  You must learn when to leave.  Create value through scarcity.

Law 17
Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability
Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people's actions.  Your predictability gives them a sense of control.  Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable.  Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves.  Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

Law 18
Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous
The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves.  A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target.  Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle.  You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

Law 19
Know Who You're Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person
There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way.  Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge.  They are wolves in lambs' clothing.  Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

Law 20
Do Not Commit to Anyone
It is the fool who always rushes to take sides.  Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself.  By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.

Law 21
Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark
No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons.  The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are.  Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

Law 22
Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power
When you are weaker, never fight for honor's sake; choose surrender instead.  Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane.  Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you – surrender first.  By turning the other check you infuriate and unsettle him.  Make surrender a tool of power.

Law 23
Concentrate Your Forces
Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point.  You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time.  When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come.

Law 24
Play the Perfect Courtier
The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity.  He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the mot oblique and graceful manner.  Learn and apply the laws of courtiership and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

Law 25
Re-Create Yourself
Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.  Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience.  Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you.  Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

Law 26
Keep Your Hands Clean
You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds.  Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat's-paws to disguise your involvement.

Law 27
Play on People's Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following
People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something.  Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow.  Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking.  Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf.  In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.

Law 28
Enter Action with Boldness
If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it.  Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution.  Timidity is dangerous:  Better to enter with boldness.  Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity.  Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

Law 29
Plan All the Way to the End
The ending is everything.  Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others.  By planning to the end you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop.  Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead.

Law 30
Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless
Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease.  All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed.  When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more.  Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions.  Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

Law 31
Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal
The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice:  Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets.  Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose.  Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose.  Put them on the horns of a dilemma:  They are gored wherever they turn.

Law 32
Play to People's Fantasies
The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant.  Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment.  Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert:  Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.

Law 33
Discover Each Man's Thumbscrew
Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall.  That weakness is usually an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure.  Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.

Law 34
Be Royal in your Own Fashion:  Act like a King to be treated like one
The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you.  For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others.  By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

Law 35
Master the Art of Timing
Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time.  Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually.  Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power.  Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.

Law 36
Disdain Things you cannot have:  Ignoring them is the best Revenge
By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility.  The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it.  It is sometimes best to leave things alone.  If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it.  The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

Law 37
Create Compelling Spectacles
Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them.  Stage spectacles for those around you, then full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols that heighten your presence.  Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing.

Law 38
Think as you like but Behave like others
If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them.  They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior.  It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

Law 39
Stir up Waters to Catch Fish
Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive.  You must always stay calm and objective.  But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage.  Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings.

Law 40
Despise the Free Lunch
What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation.  What has worth is worth paying for.  By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit.  It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence.  Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.

Law 41
Avoid Stepping into a Great Man's Shoes
What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after.  If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them.  Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making:  Establish your own name and identity by changing course.  Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way.

Law 42
Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter
Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill.  If you allow such people room to operate, others will succumb to their influence.  Do not wait for the troubles they cause to multiply, do not try to negotiate with them – they are irredeemable.  Neutralize their influence by isolating or banishing them.  Strike at the source of the trouble and the sheep will scatter.

Law 43
Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others
Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you.  You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction.  A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn.  And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses.  Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear.  Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

Law 44
Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect
The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy.  The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact.  By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson.  Few can resist the power of Mirror Effect.

Law 45
Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once
Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit.  Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt.  If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things.  If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.

Law 46
Never appear too Perfect
Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses.  Envy creates silent enemies.  It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable.  Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

Law 47
Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop
The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril.  In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat.  Do not allow success to go to your head.  There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning.  Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.

Law 48
Assume Formlessness
By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack.  Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move.  Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed.  The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order.  Everything changes.

Spend More Time with This Destructive Person

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By Craig Ballantyne

Time for a damaging admission...

Most people don't know this, but sometimes I harbor a deep, dark secret desire to simply get a mind-numbing factory job where I work 35 hours a week, allowing me to go home at 3 o'clock each day. I'd then play some golf and return home to sit in a chair and watch movies all night while eating chips and drinking soda.

That would be security. But it would also kill my soul. I'd spend too much time thinking about improving my life. I wouldn't be happy on the inside.

Staying in your comfort zone and seeking mindless security will never make you happy. That's the cold harsh truth about the comfort zone mentality.

Even today, with the responsibilities of running both Early to Rise and Turbulence Training, there are still comfort zone traps all around me. And left to my own weak devices, there's a part of me that would choose to not change, to not strive for improvement, to not learn, to not grow, to avoid risk and to cease building. This would, of course, not only lead to stagnation, but also my eventual decline.

Fortunately, there's a stronger voice inside of me that has sought knowledge and perhaps more importantly, has led me to spend time with those that my mentor, Mark Ford, calls, "comfort destroyers." 

Mark recently posted the following short passage on his blog.

"There are basically two sorts of people: those who find pleasure in comfort and those who find pleasure in disturbing comfortable notions. You cannot choose which kind of person you are. It is an essential component of individual temperament."

"I am a comfort-destroyer. And yet I have many friends who are comfort-seekers. But this is common. Relationships are often complementary."

"Ironically, comfort-destroyers eventually make life more comfortable for comfort-seekers because they lead them to products and practices that make life easier."

Think about that for a moment. 

Make a list of all the people that have had the greatest impact on the positive portions of your life. The great teachers of your past were surely comfort destroyers. Perhaps a mentor at work or sergeant in the army, someone that saw the potential in you and would not give up on you until you recognized it too.

Those are the people you need to spend more time with

A Four-Word Practice that Leads to True Personal Wholeness

by Guy Finley

Key Lesson: Honesty heals; lies hurt. In these four words lives all one needs to know and practice, that is, assuming one wishes to be whole, harmless, true and loving.

Let Go and Rise Above What Holds You Down

Each time we see the need to let go of something -- a bad habit that drags us down, an unsatisfactory relationship, a career choice that can't complete us in the way we dreamed it would, or maybe unrealistic expectations of ours about others that eventually spoil our partnerships with them -- whatever it may be: what is it that's actually happened in these moments of honest self-examination? See if this simple answer doesn't describe our situation.

Aren't we being "asked" to give up an existing relationship in order to make room in our lives for something higher? Of course we are. Then why is it so hard to act on our intuition? After all, who doesn't want a life that's better, brighter, and truer? Here's why we hesitate to make this exchange, as so many of us do: the real challenge in such moments is that what we must choose in favor of can't be seen by our physical eyes!

Inherent in any true spiritual surrender is this one inescapable fact: we can't hope to realize the actual nature of that new and greater relationship we seek until we have released the old one.

When it comes to letting go and growing beyond who and what we have been up until that time, the deal is non-negotiable: first comes our gradual awakening to what no longer works for us, followed by the inner work to release the same. Then, and only then, dawns the discovery and realization of what is -- in all cases -- a new and higher order of our self; our life is transformed. Confidence, contentment, and compassion become our constant companions.

To the point: letting go follows our realization thatholding on is of no further use! In one way or another, we start seeing how all of our old tried-and-true solutions have proven themselves to be "false friends."

Whether wanted or not, we stand at the threshold of that unfamiliar and innermost territory called the "dark night of the soul"; we now know that of ourselves we can do no more for ourselves. And so we wait there in our uncertainty, caught, as it were, between two possibilities, neither of which is wanted. In one hand, there is the "rock" of not wanting to go through what we know must be done; in the other is "the hard place" of seeing that no other options are available. Our one great fear is that if we do let go, our fate is sealed. We will fall into that dark, yawning abyss before us called "not knowing what will become of us" -- a forbidding place from which we believe there may be no escape! But this is a false assumption based upon an equally false perception. It's a lie produced by the false self to keep us from answering the call to it leave behind. Here is the truth of the matter, which you will know from yourself each time you dare to let go: You do not fall. Instead, you rise!

Time Saving Guide for Busy People

By Leo Babauta

Your lives are always busy, I'm sure, but the holidays always seem to add even more craziness to everyone's schedule. Christmas parties with family, friends and co-workers, gift shopping, decorating, Christmas pageants, caroling, bell-ringing, snow shoveling (unless you live on Guam like I do), making cookies, baking turkeys, and all the rest.

It's enough to make you want to give up!

But it doesn't have to be overwhelming. If you're a busy person (and who isn't these days?), I've compiled some of my favorite time-saving tips -- things I use in my daily life that I've found to work wonders for freeing up the schedule.

Why use these tips? First, to keep yourself sane during busy times as we all tend to stress out when schedules are packed. But second, and just as importantly, to make time for what you think is most important. For me, that's my family, my writing, and exercise.

You might have other things you want to make time for. Here's how to do it.

Tips for Work

Most of us spend the most time at work, so let's start there. If you have a to-do list that's a mile long -- or worse yet, no to-do list at all -- here's what you can do:

1. Do less. This is my favorite productivity tip, as long-time readers know -- simplify your schedule by doing fewer things but focusing on the important things. This will greatly increase the impact of the time you do work, decreasing the time you need to work. What about the tasks you don't do? See the tips below for more on dealing with them.

2. Delegate. If a task needs to be done but is not one of your most important tasks, and it can be done by someone else, delegate it. Sometimes you can get rid of half your to-do list by finding others who can do the task as well or even better than you can.

3. Limit your workday (or adjust your hours). If you work more than 8 hours a day, by setting a limit of 8 hours you'll force yourself to focus on getting the must-do tasks done within that limit. If you work 8 hours a day, try limiting yourself to 6 hours. You'll find that you'll prioritize, work more efficiently, and waste less time, so that you can get the work done within that time frame. I try to give myself a 4- or 5-hour window on most days. What if you can't reduce your hours (maybe you're required to work a certain number of hours)? See if you can shift your work hours either earlier or later than the rest of the crowd. That'll reduce commute time if you don't commute during the busy traffic hours, and if you work when almost no one else is in the office you can get tons more done.

4. Get the important stuff done early. Pick the top 2-3 things you need or want to accomplish today, and get those done first. While on other days you might push these important things back (and possibly not get them done at all), if you do them first the rest of your day will be gravy. In fact, if you have the freedom, you can sometimes even call it a day after you get the important stuff done -- the rest can wait until tomorrow.

5. Ask your boss to re-prioritize for you. If you don't have control over your schedule or to-do list, talk to your boss. Tell him you are trying to be more effective with your time, and you only have time for X number of things today (say, 3-4 things) ... so ask him to pick those things for you. Tell him if you try to do everything today you'll be less effective and may not get as many things done or do as good a job. This prioritizing is essentially what you'd do yourself (see the first tip) if you had the freedom.

6. Batch tasks. Instead of interspersing your work day with small tasks all mixed together, try to group similar tasks and do them at once. For example, instead of responding to emails throughout the day, batch them and do all your emails once (or twice) a day. Do all your paperwork at once. Make all phone calls in one batch. Do all errands at once. This grouping of tasks saves a lot of time and allows you to focus better on the important tasks.

7. Focus on one project and get it done. Instead of juggling a large number of projects, set aside a block of time to do one project until completion. For me, this often means setting aside half a day or a day (I try to break my projects down into manageable chunks) to work on a project, and I try to complete it if at all possible. Often this means getting all the resources and information you need beforehand, so you don't have to look for it or wait on it when you're ready to actually work on the project. This also means clearing my schedule, so I'll get other tasks done beforehand and I won't schedule anything else for that block of time. Then work on that project exclusively and try very hard to get it done. This, I've found, is often the most effective way to work on projects.

8. Avoid meetings. Not all meetings are a waste of time, but many are. If you spend a lot of time in meetings, but would rather be doing your actual work instead of listening to other people talk about things they could have sent you in an email, see if you can get out of some of those meetings. You'll get a lot more done.

9. Avoid long conversations at work. We've all had long conversations with co-workers that were very unproductive -- often not related to work or anything important. Sometimes they're long phone conversations. And while I like conversing with other human beings as much as the next guy -- it's important to maintain good relationships and friendships -- at the same time you could be spending that time doing other things. I personally would rather get all my work done and go home and spend time with my family. So I try to stay focused on work rather than having lots of long conversations, although I'll make an exception now and then.

10. Learn to say no. This is crucial if you want to have a simplified schedule. We all receive numerous requests each day, and all of them are demands on our time. If we say "yes" to those requests, we are giving up our time and committing to doing something for someone else. But if those requests aren't in line with our priorities, then we are usually biting off more than we want to chew. So learn to say "no" instead. Often this is uncomfortable, because we fear it means disappointing others. But learn to tell people that you just don't have the time to commit to this right now, and often they'll understand.

8 Tremendously Important Ways That Gratitude Can Change Your Life

By Leo Babauta

It's amazing how one simple, easy, positive action can change so much in a person's life.

One of the things that has had the biggest effect on my life is the realization of the power of gratitude. Simply giving thanks.

It has affected everything. It has made me a more positive person. A more productive person. A better achiever. A better husband and father and son and brother (at least, I like to think so). A happier person. I'm not perfect, but gratitude has made me better.

Can it change your life as well? I can guarantee it. You might not get the exact same benefits as I have, but there's no doubt in my mind that the simple act of gratitude on a regular basis will change anyone's life, positively and immediately. How many other changes can claim to be that quick, that easy, and that profound?

Let's take a look at some of the ways you can incorporate gratitude into your life, and how it will change your life. These are just some examples, based on my experience and the experiences of others I've talked with, and not all will apply to your life. But pick and choose the ones you think will work for you.

1. Have a morning gratitude session. Take one minute in the morning (make it a daily ritual) to think of the people who have done something nice for you, to think of all the things in your life you're grateful for. You won't get to everything in one minute, but it's enough. And it will instantly make your day better, and help you start your day off right. Can you think of a better use of one minute?

2. When you're having a hard day ... make a gratitude list. We all have those bad days sometimes. We are stressed out from work. We get yelled at by someone. We lose a loved one. We hurt a loved one. We lose a contract or do poorly on a project. One of the things that can make a bad day much better is making a list of all the things you're thankful for. There are always things to be thankful for -- loved ones, health, having a job, having a roof over your head and clothes on your back, life itself.

3. Instead of getting mad at someone, show gratitude. That's a major switching of attitudes -- actually a complete flip. And so this isn't always easy to do. But I can promise you that it's a great thing to do. If you get mad at your co-worker, for example, because of something he or she did ... bite your tongue and don't react in anger. Instead, take some deep breaths, calm down, and try to think of reasons you're grateful for that person. Has that person done anything nice for you? Has that person ever done a good job? Find something, anything, even if it's difficult. Focus on those things that make you grateful. It will slowly change your mood. And if you get in a good enough mood, show your gratitude to that person. It will improve your mood, your relationship, and help make things better. After showing gratitude, you can ask for a favor -- can he please refrain from shredding your important documents in the future? And in the context of your gratitude, such a favor isn't such a hard thing for the co-worker to grant.

4. Instead of criticizing your significant other, show gratitude. This is basically the same as the above tactic, but I wanted to point out how gratitude can transform a marriage or relationship. If you constantly criticize your spouse, your marriage will slowly deteriorate -- I promise you. It's important to be able to talk out problems, but no one likes to be criticized all the time. Instead, when you find yourself feeling the urge to criticize, stop and take a deep breath. Calm down, and think about all the reasons you're grateful for your spouse. Then share that gratitude, as soon as possible. Your relationship will become stronger. Your spouse will learn from your example -- especially if you do this all the time. Your love will grow, and all will be right in the world.

5. Instead of complaining about your kids, be grateful for them. Many parents (myself included) get frustrated with their children. They are too slow to do things, they have a bad attitude, they can't clean up after themselves, and they pick their nose too much. Unfortunately, sometimes parents will communicate that frustration to their children too often, and the kids will begin to feel bad about themselves. Many parents have done this, and while it's not perfect, it's a part of parenthood. But there's a better way: follow the method above of calming down when you're frustrated, and thinking of reasons you're grateful to your child. Share these reasons with your child. And then take the opportunity to teach them, instead of criticizing them.

6. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. Many people will see something difficult as a bad thing. If something goes wrong, it's a reason to complain, it's a time of self-pity. That won't get you anywhere. Instead, learn to be grateful for the challenge -- it's an opportunity to grow, to learn, to get better at something. This will transform you from a complainer into a positive person who only continues to improve. People will like you better and you'll improve your career. Not too shabby.

7. When you suffer a tragedy, be grateful for the life you still have. I've recently lost an aunt, and my children recently lost a grandmother. These tragedies can be crippling if you let them overcome you. And while I'm not saying you shouldn't grieve -- of course you should -- you can also take away something even greater from these tragedies: gratitude for the life you still have. Appreciation for the fleeting beauty of life itself. Love for the people who are still in your life. Take this opportunity to show appreciation to these people, and to enjoy life while you can.

8. Instead of looking at what you don't have, look at what you do have. Have you ever looked around you and bemoaned how little you have? How the place you live isn't your dream house, or the car you drive isn't as nice as you'd like, or your peers have cooler gadgets or better jobs? If so, that's an opportunity to be grateful for what you already have. It's easy to forget that there are billions of people worse off than you -- who don't have much in the way of shelter or clothes, who don't own a car and never will, who don't own a gadget or even know what one is, who don't have a job at all or only have very menial, miserable jobs in sweatshop conditions. Compare your life to these people's lives, and be grateful for the life you have. And realize that it's already more than enough, that happiness is not a destination -- it's already here.

The Seventh Chakra

The Seventh Chakra is the Crown Chakra. It is located at the crown of your head- right where you had a “soft spot” as a little baby that eventually closed off when you were a toddler, as the hard bone of your skull pieces grew together. Many people believe that little babies communicate directly with divine realms because their crown chakras are so open and strong. The crown chakra deals with your connection to the divine within you and all around you, and it is weakened by all forms of earthly attachments.

Physically, it supports your central nervous system and deep brain functions (your automated life support systems of your brain stem and your emotional and memory centers of the middle brain).

See if any of these signs of weakness describe your experience, and if so, experiment with some or all of the five things below to help you open and strengthen your seventh chakra.

Five Signs Your Seventh Chakra Is Weak

1. You feel disconnected to the divine in you and around you. You only believe what you can sense with your five physical senses to be real. You have a condescending  skepticism towards the spiritual and metaphysical.

2. You have an “everyone for themselves” attitude toward life. You see everything and everyone as separate and distinct from you; as people or things to be controlled, managed, led, tolerated or attacked and defended against.  You don’t really feel connected at a deeper level to other people or to the planet.

3. You often feel a sense of abandonment by any higher power and anger for all the injustices you perceive in the world. The opposite extreme can also show up as “self-righteousness” where you place people into distinct us vs. them groups where the us group is right and the them group is wrong.

4. You have a strong attachment to possessions and relationships, and define yourself by what you have and who you are in a relationship with. By attachment I mean that your sense of purpose and well being is attached to your property and your relationships with others. So long as they are where you want them, you feel OK, but are always afraid you are going to lose them. To the extent you do not have the possessions and relationships you desire you believe that their lack is the cause of your unhappiness.

5. You experience any of the following physical symptoms on a frequent or chronic basis:  anxiety, depression, migraines, amnesia, ADD, dyslexia, and in the most extreme cases cognitive delusions and mental illness.

Five Things You Can Do To Strengthen Your Seventh Chakra

1. Reflection

Adopt this phrase as your mantra: “I see myself in all others and all others in myself.” Reflect on how this is true in your experiences today. Consider the co-worker that you are annoyed by or the person who cuts you off in traffic. How does what drives their actions also exist in you? How does the other person also have what you think is best about you?

Consider the person you really admire for something. How do you also have what you admire in them? How might they also have insecurities that you only see in yourself? This attitude allows you to let all people and all things that you experience today, be your teacher; the child, the homeless person, the tree, the river, the celebrity on TV, even the weather, all of them become your teacher. From this perspective, it becomes silly to judge and condemn others or yourself and greater compassion for yourself and for others becomes natural.

2. Laughing

Heartfelt laughing is one of the best chakra strengtheners there is. If you are blessed to be around little children, spend time playing with them, being silly and laughing with them. If you don’t have little children as a catalyst, you can create a powerful laughing experience all on your own. Don’t wait until you feel like laughing. Just start laughing. Fake it completely at first, but do it from the belly and out loud and do it for one full minute (time yourself). Pretty soon it won’t feel so fake and you’ll actually be laughing naturally and because you feel like it.

Pay attention to the feeling at the crown of your head.  See if you notice a feeling of openness and a tingling sensation. This is a well known exercise for Tibetan monks. The master monk strikes a gong and the student monks are to sit and laugh until the master strikes the gong again. At first it feels fake and tenuous, but after a while it becomes genuine and hearty. When the second gong is struck it is hard for the monks to stop laughing. The master then says “You do not laugh because you are happy. You are happy because you laugh. ”

3. Sound Vibration 

Intone the “ong” sound using the word “song” and feel the vibration in your seventh chakra as you hold out the “ng” sound. Imagine a violet light radiating from your seventh chakra and sending healing and balancing energy to your entire brain. From there, send it to your entire body, cascading down like a fountain of water from the crown of your head to the base of your spine and back up your spine to the crown of your head.

Experiment intoning with your ears unplugged and with them plugged by your fingers. The word song also has meaning related to the seventh chakra. Think of everything in your life being orchestrated divinely as a beautiful song- some parts are sad and longing, others parts are suspenseful and intriguing, other parts are joyful and full of peace.

4. Chakra Breath

Do the “Heaven and Earth Breath.” This breath is more about the intention and attention you bring to it than any specific breathing technique. Breathe in slowly through your nose (if you can) and imagine that you are breathing in a purple/white light from above, through the crown of your head and saturating your whole body. As you breathe out, imagine you are sending this divine energy down through the soles of your feet and into the earth where it is gratefully accepted. Repeat for as many cycles as you want, feeling the flow of energy from the crown of your head through the soles of your feet.

5.  Yoga Asana: Perform the “Frog” yoga asana (see image below)

Begin by standing with your heels touching and your feet pointing out about forty-five degrees in each direction so your feet make about a ninety-degree angle. Squat down so your weight is on the balls of your feet and toes and your heels come off the ground. Support yourself by putting your hands on the floor and look straight ahead so the crown of your head is facing up (Figure 1). From this position, straighten your legs and put your heels on the ground.

Keep your hands on the floor as best you can and bend your torso forward so that the crown of your head is facing down (Figure 2). At first you might need to raise your hands off the ground until you recover your flexibility by practicing yoga.  Begin moving back and forth between position 1 and 2, breathing in as you straighten your legs and fold forward and out as you bend your legs and unfold. Continue going back and forth for thirty to sixty seconds

THANK YOUR CHILD FOR THEIR TANTRUMS

When your child starts throwing a fit, your initial reaction is probably not gratitude, as for most parents; tantrums tend to bring out confusion, anger, or at least frustration.

But what if we saw our children’s tantrums for what they really are? What if we recognized that our child’s yelling, screaming breakdown, is actually a great gift or message to us parents?

The next time your child throws a fit, I invite you to look at the situation differently. Thank your child for one or all of these three things (either in your mind or out loud) and see how quickly the dynamic shifts between you.

1) Thank you for speaking up when something’s not right

As they grow up, children receive hundreds of thousands of messages telling them how they must think, act, or be a certain way in order to be accepted or loved.

During my 20 years of work in the self-help field, I have seen an awful lot of adults who were shut down as children.

When children are shut down often enough, they lose track of their inner voice. Your child’s voice is a great gift. Even if you don’t understand or agree with what your child is upset over, acknowledge that you hear them. Try saying this:

“I hear you. Tell me all about why you’re so upset. What you say matters.”

You may find that the less you try to shut down your child’s resistance, the less resistant they become. When children know they are free to express their voice, they do so with more confidence and less fight.

2) Thank you for living true to your nature

Every child comes to this Earth with a unique energetic configuration. Your child’s natural energy informs their movement, their motivations and their personality. When they live true to that nature, they are naturally happier and cooperative.

But what if the tantrum is about not being able to watch another TV show, or get the treat that they wanted at the store, or stay up a few minutes later? Should I just let them “live true to themselves” and do whatever they want? No. But you can acknowledge your child’s wants with appreciation for who they are. Try this:

“I hear that sounds frustrating to you. The answer is still no, but you can tell me more about why that makes you sad.”

A child who is throwing a fit is a child fighting to be understood, whatever their reason.

3) Thank you for forgiving and letting me try again

Most often, the tantrum isn’t about the piece of candy or the bedtime. Tantrums are actually secret messages meant to alert parents to an imbalance in the relationship.

They may say it’s about candy, but children attach stories to their frustration in attempts to articulate feelings they do not know how to explain.

Look a little deeper and you may see that this tantrum came from a pattern of ignoring your child, or telling them “no” too often, or not paying as much attention to their feelings as you could have.

Whatever you have or haven’t done that you regret, own it and take care of it. Children are remarkably resilient and forgiving. Try saying the following:

“I’m sorry I haven’t given you the kind of attention you needed. I love you. What’s the best thing I could do to help you right now?”

Your child may surprise you with how quickly and calmly they share the answer to that question.

Your child’s tantrum is a secret message

I’ve never seen a parent in a grocery store lean over to their child and say, “Thank you for throwing this screaming temper tantrum on the floor here.”

You could be the first. See the next tantrum as an opportunity to understand your child rather than punish them. You may receive an important message that you didn’t notice before.

Your child tells you every day what they need from you in order to feel loved, secure and happy. They will tell you through a temper tantrum if they need to. As your child’s parent, you can receive unique and customized inspiration to resolve whatever the tantrum is bringing up for both of you.

Thank your child and listen right now. Your child will thank you one day.