Flirting

I don't watch much television, but my favorite programs are the
ones on nature.  I've seen several different episodes on animal
courtship and I find it fascinating what some animals do to attract
a mate - or just to mate.  Some dance, others build elaborate
nests, many strut their stuff and several even fight other
potential suitors to get the female to notice them.

Humans do some of the same things to attract potential mates.  For
many of us, a courtship begins with the act of flirting.  Playful
teasing, winking, a gentle touch to the arm and other gestures
usually signal to someone that you find him or her interesting,
engaging and attractive -- that you would like to spend more time
with him or her.

The problem with flirting is that some men and women don't realize
it is part of courtship.  Some see nothing wrong with flirting with
other people even if they are in a relationship.  They come up with
faulty reasoning such as "it's ok to look at the menu as long as I
don't order anything off it."  How many times have you been full
after a meal but a peek at the dessert menu tempted you to order
that luscious slice of pie anyway?

For many who have had affairs, it began with flirting.  When
someone flirts with you (innocently or not) you are flattered.
They are signaling that they find you fun and attractive which
makes you feel excited and happy.  Your emotions begin to flow.
Perhaps you remember this stage of new love in a previous
relationship and those euphoric feelings come back.  Despite what
your mind knows is best, you begin to reciprocate with the
flirting.  Soon the gentle touch to the shoulder might move to the
arm, then later to the elbow and then to the hand. And whether or
not you have the willpower to keep it from leading to an affair of
the body, it has already led to an affair of the heart. Millions of
men and women do not set out to cheat on their mate.  It often
begins with what they think is harmless flirting.

How can you tell the difference between someone who is flirting and
someone who is just fun natured?  Someone who flirts will only be
"flirty" to those they find attractive.  If they playfully tease or
touch everyone they meet, then they probably aren't flirting.
However, there is still the danger that too much play can be
misinterpreted.  Before you know it, you have some stranger calling
you in the middle of the night, showing up at your office, sending
you love letters or even planting an unexpected kiss on you - just
because they thought you were flirting (beginning a courtship) and
it got their hormones racing.  Flirting is a powerful tool in
attracting a mate.  Used correctly, it can reap wonderful rewards.
But if you are already in a relationship, it can bring disaster.