Commitment is one of the major enemies of relationships - one of
the chief reasons divorce is rampant in our society.
I'm not talking about the commitment you make to one another when
you marry -- the commitment to love each other no matter if you
become rich or poor, healthy or sick, etc.
Some people believe that once they "give their word" there is no
going back. Society often depicts those who change their minds as
weak-willed, indecisive or lacking conviction. In many cases,
those who are willing to change their minds are exhibiting
incredible courage and maturity.
There would be far fewer divorces and a great deal more blissful
relationships if men and women were brave enough to change their
minds more often.
Here are just a few major areas that someone should be mature
enough to change his or her commitment on:
- Not wanting to get married even though you are already engaged
- Desiring more or less children even though you agreed on a
certain number while dating
- Admitting that your present career is unchallenging or
emotionally draining and that you would prefer to switch to a
career that is more satisfying yet far less lucrative
- Willing to admit when you have a spiritual yearning even though
you dogmatically stated for years that you were an atheist or
agnostic
- Deciding to forgive someone (or say you were wrong or sorry) even
though you previously said hell would freeze over before that would
happen
- Agreeing to go to counseling for a problem with your marriage (or
for a personal issue) even though you made a vow that you would
never darken the office of a "shrink"
Of course there are many other areas where it is completely ok (and
sometimes very wise) to change one's mind. While there is a place
for life-long commitments in relationships, truly blissful ones
have the sort of accepting love that enables them to grow and
change together.
the chief reasons divorce is rampant in our society.
I'm not talking about the commitment you make to one another when
you marry -- the commitment to love each other no matter if you
become rich or poor, healthy or sick, etc.
Some people believe that once they "give their word" there is no
going back. Society often depicts those who change their minds as
weak-willed, indecisive or lacking conviction. In many cases,
those who are willing to change their minds are exhibiting
incredible courage and maturity.
There would be far fewer divorces and a great deal more blissful
relationships if men and women were brave enough to change their
minds more often.
Here are just a few major areas that someone should be mature
enough to change his or her commitment on:
- Not wanting to get married even though you are already engaged
- Desiring more or less children even though you agreed on a
certain number while dating
- Admitting that your present career is unchallenging or
emotionally draining and that you would prefer to switch to a
career that is more satisfying yet far less lucrative
- Willing to admit when you have a spiritual yearning even though
you dogmatically stated for years that you were an atheist or
agnostic
- Deciding to forgive someone (or say you were wrong or sorry) even
though you previously said hell would freeze over before that would
happen
- Agreeing to go to counseling for a problem with your marriage (or
for a personal issue) even though you made a vow that you would
never darken the office of a "shrink"
Of course there are many other areas where it is completely ok (and
sometimes very wise) to change one's mind. While there is a place
for life-long commitments in relationships, truly blissful ones
have the sort of accepting love that enables them to grow and
change together.
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