Post Divorce Steps

Divorce is typically harder on women than men financially. This is understandable, given the facts that men still tend to be the breadwinners in marriages (although women are catching up!) and women tend to take more time out of the workforce to be caregivers, putting them at a disadvantage when it comes to earning potential, Social Security benefits and retirement savings. Women also tend to earn less and have lower participation rates in employer-sponsored retirement plans than men when they are working.
These harsh realities do not bode well for us ladies. So we need to be better prepared. If you are recently divorced, going through it now or planning on it soon, follow this basic guide to help you have a more secure singlehood.
Give yourself time. Divorce makes your heart break and your head spin. Analyzing your finances and making potentially critical decisions should NOT be done when you are emotionally compromised. Give yourself time to grieve, process and refocus.
Consider a team approach. Legal, financial and tax planning can be overwhelming enough even when divorce isn’t involved. It may be worth the cost of working with professionals who can give you objective, personalized advice and at least remove that stress of figuring it all out on your own. Ask around for referrals who specialize in divorce planning and interview several candidates for comparison. Make sure to be clear on the potential costs upfront as they will need to be part of your updated budget (see below).
Take inventory. Calculate your current net worth (what you own of value minus your debts) and make a detailed listing of every asset and every liability. This should include bank and investment accounts, loans, outstanding credit card balances and property. Remember that you are typically entitled to a share of any savings that have accumulated or property that was purchased or gained value during your marriage (including your ex’s retirement accounts and any real estate).
Protect your credit. Make sure joint credit accounts are closed and that you have your own accounts set up. Also make sure that any outstanding joint debts have been settled. Check your credit report for confirmation and possible errors. Also know your current credit score.
Update your budget. Keep a close eye on your cash flow and create a detailed accounting of current income and expenses. Analyze your spending and look for opportunities to cut back, save more, and understand how much you might need to make up in income to live more comfortably, both now and in the future. You should probably also make peace with a “less is more” lifestyle.
Review your insurance. Update your property and casualty insurance policies to reflect your current needs. Also update beneficiaries on any life insurance policies and make sure you have health insurance in place, whether it is through an arrangement with your ex, COBRA or a new individual policy. If you are over 50, you should look into long-term care insurance if you don’t already have it. While the cost now may seem prohibitive, the future cost of long-term care could be overwhelming. Weigh the pros and cons carefully.
Revise your retirement and estate plans. Update any wills and trusts that may be in place and beneficiaries on all retirement accounts. Then reconsider your retirement goals (e.g. when to retire, where you will live and how much income you need to live comfortably in retirement). Keep in mind that if you were married for less than 10 years, you are not entitled to your ex’s Social Security benefits. Even if you were married for more than 10 years, chances are the price of divorce has caused you a significant setback in terms of retirement savings, particularly if you are over 50. So you probably need to think about retiring later, earning and saving more money in the meantime, and/or taking on more investment risk. For a fee, a financial planner can be very helpful in creating your new roadmap.
Explore earning more. Think about what you like to do and what you are good at. Network like crazy to find opportunities for work that is meaningful and leverages your particular skills. Volunteering for an organization or offering to work for free can help you gain contacts, knowledge and experience, and can often lead to paid positions.
Divorce at any age is difficult. Divorce later in life can be even more challenging because you have less time to catch up. The more proactive you are in having a post-divorce financial plan, the better off you’ll be. Good luck!

Fill your with the Good Days

If you want to have a better life, you must fill it with good days. The best way to do that is to organize your day according to your personal priorities - doing the most important things first.

It's easy to do. Yet most people don't. Eighty percent of the people I know - and I'm including all the intelligent and hardworking people I work with - do exactly the opposite. They organize their days around urgencies and emergencies. Taking care of last-minute issues that should have been dealt with earlier. Or doing tasks that help other people achieve their goals while ignoring their own.

Doing first things first. It is a very simple discipline. Yet its transformative power is immense. It can change your life - literally overnight.
It is the single best technique I know for change. And it's the fastest and easiest way to turn your life around if you are not happy with the way it's been going so far.

Doing first things first. Is that what you do?

Here's what I do:

• I get up early - never after 6:30 a.m.
• I get to work early - never later than 7:30 a.m.
• I spend my first hour doing a task that advances my most important goal.
• If I'm going strong, I spend the next hour doing the same thing. If not, I switch to a task that advances my second-most-important goal.
• I spend my third hour on another priority.
• Only after four hours of doing important work do I allow myself to deal with less important work and other people's urgencies.

By the time most people start wandering into the office - between 8:30 and 9:00 - I've done at least an hour and sometimes two hours of work that is helping me achieve my important goals. Goals that correspond to my core values. Goals that will immensely improve my life.

That's how to begin a very good day!

I do this five days a week. And on weekends, I find at least two more hours each day to devote to my top priority. In a year, this averages to about 600 hours. Six hundred hours may not sound like much, but it is.

Six hundred hours is fifteen 40-hour work weeks. That's almost four working months! Think about it.

Here's what you can accomplish in 600 hours:

• Learn to speak a foreign language with moderate proficiency.
• Become a reasonably skillful ballroom dancer, with a good command of the swing, the fox trot, the salsa, and the hustle.
• Achieve a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or a brown or black belt in one of many other martial arts.
• Develop a decent singing voice and feel comfortable singing at parties.
• Write five 60,000-word books on a subject you know.
• Write and edit two novels or 365 poems.
• Write, direct, film, and edit a 30-minute movie.
• Start a multimillion-dollar side business.

Some Preliminary Observations

To get started, here are some observations about great wealth builders like Jobs and Edison and Ford.

1. A "normal" person is concerned with protecting his ego. When dealing with a problem he doesn't really understand, he pretends he understands the contributing factors and doesn't try to find out what anyone else thinks. A person with a multimillionaire mind asks questions incessantly. He has no ego when it comes to learning. He knows that knowledge is power.

2. A "normal" person has a consumer mentality. He looks at a hot new product and thinks about how he would like to own one. A person with a multimillionaire mind has an entrepreneurial mentality. He looks at it and thinks, "How can I produce this or something similar in my own industry?"

3. A "normal" person is wish-focused. He daydreams about making gobs of money. A person with a multimillionaire mind is reality-based. He is always analyzing his own success and the success of others and wondering how he could learn from it.

4. A "normal" person, when confronted with a challenging idea, thinks of all the reasons why it might not work. A person with a multimillionaire mind sees the potential in it and disregards the problems until he has a clear vision of how it might succeed.

5. A "normal" person resists change. A person with a multimillionaire mind embraces it.

6. A "normal" person accepts the status quo. A person with a multimillionaire mind is always looking to make things - even good things - better.

7. A "normal" person reacts. A person with a multimillionaire mind is proactive.

8. A "normal" person looks at a successful business owner and thinks, "That guy's lucky." Or "That guy's a shyster." A person with a multimillionaire mind thinks, "What's his secret?" And, "How can I do that?"

Most importantly, a person with a multimillionaire's mind likes living like a multimillionaire. He doesn't shortchange himself when it comes to comfort and luxury. Rather than believing always that pain leads to gain, he thinks, "If I'm smart I can have my cake and eat it too.

You can start your mental transformation by studying this list and assessing your own impulses. Be honest. Identify the habits you don't have and try to develop them. Rather than think of this process as work, think of it as fun.

Commitment- An Enemy

Commitment is one of the major enemies of relationships - one of
the chief reasons divorce is rampant in our society.

I'm not talking about the commitment you make to one another when
you marry -- the commitment to love each other no matter if you
become rich or poor, healthy or sick, etc.

Some people believe that once they "give their word" there is no
going back. Society often depicts those who change their minds as
weak-willed, indecisive or lacking conviction.  In many cases,
those who are willing to change their minds are exhibiting
incredible courage and maturity.

There would be far fewer divorces and a great deal more blissful
relationships if men and women were brave enough to change their
minds more often.

Here are just a few major areas that someone should be mature
enough to change his or her commitment on:

-       Not wanting to get married even though you are already engaged

-       Desiring more or less children even though you agreed on a
certain number while dating

-       Admitting that your present career is unchallenging or
emotionally draining and that you would prefer to switch to a
career that is more satisfying yet far less lucrative

-       Willing to admit when you have a spiritual yearning even though
you dogmatically stated for years that you were an atheist or
agnostic

-       Deciding to forgive someone (or say you were wrong or sorry) even
though you previously said hell would freeze over before that would
happen

-       Agreeing to go to counseling for a problem with your marriage (or
for a personal issue) even though you made a vow that you would
never darken the office of a "shrink"

Of course there are many other areas where it is completely ok (and
sometimes very wise) to change one's mind.  While there is a place
for life-long commitments in relationships, truly blissful ones
have the sort of accepting love that enables them to grow and
change together.