Graduates: Make Yourself Marketable

You’ve just been handed that wonderful diploma and you know the clock is ticking for you to turn that diploma into a professional position. Take heart, graduates! The following is a series of simple and fast steps you can take to lead you to that first professional opportunity whether you are graduating with a college or a technical diploma!

1. While you are job searching, consider volunteering or taking an internship.Future employers will applaud your strong desire to make a positive contribution of your talents to a worthy cause.

2. Become a networking expert. Experts estimate that 80 percent of all positions are filled by those who have networked their way into often unadvertised jobs. You’ve proven that you know how to learn new skills by successfully graduating. It will only take a day or two with free resources on the internet to learn the latest social and personal networking tips to network your way into your first professional position.

3. Create a “one-minute elevator speech.” And rehearse saying it! Make this speech a concise and interesting summary of who you are and where you want to go. Not only will your focused speech “wow” future employers, it will help you market yourself as you network.

4. Make sure you have an up-to-the-minute, one page resume. And keep it with you at all times. Remember, as you network, your one minute speech and one-page resume along with your enthusiasm will make a powerful impact on anyone who could refer you into your first professional position..

5. Have one interview-ready outfit ready. And make sure it’s simple and professional. Not sure you even have the money for this? Check re-sale and thrift stores, you’ll be sure to find exactly what you need at a reasonable price. Not sure what professional look will work for you? Have a fun day researching by going to the business district at lunchtime and watch what people are wearing!

6. Join a public-speaking group. There are many, including Toastmasters. Terrified of making a speech or presentations? Guess what? That’s the single biggest fear of everyone on planet earth, hands down! What better way to get ready for the professional world of interviews through this type of group. Whether you are a car mechanic or a manager, you will need to communicate to people to be a success! (P.S.: Also bring your resume to your speaking group and be prepared with your “elevator” speech. Your public speaking group may be one of the single best sources for you to job network!)

7. Join or create a job search group. Try not to job search alone. It is a proven fact that people in groups achieve more goals faster than those working alone. Again, use the internet to locate a job group by your city or county. Most of them are free, and meet every week, and work not only on networking but also interviewing and resume skills. If you can’t find one in your area, call your school friends and host a job-search and support group over the internet!

Best of luck to you as you connect to your new jobs

Friends. We all love to have them. Some of our friendships began
when we were in grade school. Others are as new as last week.
Friends add vibrancy to the fabric that we call life.

It is wonderful to maintain friendships but it is also wise to let
some fade away. Some friends are unhealthy influences from the
start. Others can become that way as one or both of you change your
values for living.

While good friends can bring much joy and aid to your marriage, bad
friends can possibly destroy it. How do you know if your
friendships are unhealthy? Here are some clues.

# A friendship needs to end if that friend doesn't get along with
your best friend (your spouse).

# You know you have an unhealthy friendship if they entice you to
do things you feel you shouldn't be doing. That could be going to
bars, smoking, swearing, being unethical at work or spending too
much money on unnecessary items.

# A bad friend constantly puts down other people and their
negativity gets you to be super critical too.

# A bad friend encourages you to seek revenge or "make your spouse
pay" if they hurt you in some way. They tell you to only care about
yourself.

# A friendship is unhealthy if a friend doesn't respect your
spiritual values and beliefs.

# A friend is no friend if they don't give back to the
relationship.

Restore Peace at Work

We spend a large amount of hours at the office throughout our lives and sometimes office politics and arguments at work are inevitable. It doesn’t matter if you are in a telemarketing agency or work at the largest law firm, every company has its office environment. The environment may not be interactive, but if you are in a team of staff or even in a small company of three, there is potential for an office grudge. We are human and we all love it when things go our own way or as planned. Also as humans, we all make mistakes whether in our personal lives or at work.

Have you noticed that your colleague has stopped talking to you at the water cooler or sitting with you at lunch? Or has the chef at the restaurant you work at stopped offering you further learning opportunities within the kitchen? Whatever the case, an office grudge is not a fun situation. There are ways to get through this type of dreaded situation and regain the peace within your daily office atmosphere. Here is how to handle an office grudge.

Address the Individual

If you are worried that someone may resent you or hold an office grudge, talk to them. Do this in a mature and private manner. Approach the individual and ask them if they are upset with you and if so, how can you improve the relationship between the two of you. There is a chance that the person who seems to hold an office grudge might pretend nothing is wrong and still treat you the same way. At this point you really have to let go as you did the right thing by acknowledging you might have upset them and you are the better person for trying to improve it.

Allow Space

If you detect that someone is holding an office grudge and you have already asked them if something was bothering them, allow them some space. People tend to come around after they have time away from the person that upset them. Let them cool off and they will work through their own issues in time. They might approach you after time to tell you what bothered them, but by then they most likely will have detached themselves from the issue and upset.

Active Listening is Key

If your office grudge holder needs to speak to you about an issue that is bothering them, listen. Actively listen to what they are trying to express and try not to interrupt if you do not agree. By giving them your time and acknowledging their need for expression you might find the issue will be laid to rest sooner than you thought. After all, everyone, whether at home or in the office, wants to feel heard and that they are also worthy of an opinion on a matter

Every Little Bit Counts!

Try a few of these shameless (and fun, too) money-saving tips—you’ll be helping your money stretch farther and faster than you ever thought possible! Guess what? Creatively saving money is not only outrageously good for you and Mother Earth, it’s a growing industry, too!

1. Close up and close down!

Away from your residence for hours at a time? Draw shades and close blinds to save energy consumption. And then, unplug everything except for your fridge and stove. Especially while you sleep. Don’t be afraid to experiment—I guarantee you will have a lot of interesting money-saving stories to tell your friends.

2. Swap, share, barter and ask!

You will not only save money here, but you will become super-connected to amazing people (and maybe a new soulmate too!) Swapsters and sharers: Create groups for children’s toys and clothes, tool-sharing, adult clothes, books and DVDs. Barterers: Make a list of all your skills and unused items you can barter, including cooking, job skills, and start to barter for what you want and need. Askers: Don’t assume those major chains including home improvement stores aren’t willing to discount. Ask and you will receive!

3. Remake and re-use!

It’s the latest thing on the fashion and decorating networks to refurbish and renovate clothing and furniture—get the whole family or friends involved for your own fashion and furniture redesigns. You will help yourself and your family create a whole new series of skills. Reuse your furniture—upholstery threadbare or old? Paint that wood—it’s the latest style. Create easy to do slipcovers, and if you don’t know how to sew, ask a sewing friend to help and make slipcovers together!

4. Think “free” before thinking “buy!”

Always always always research “how can I get this free” before you start thinking “How much can I spend.” The internet will be a major resource to locate free goods, including garden items, clothes, furniture, etc. Remember, you’ve already learned about swapping and bartering, so you are ready to think “free” at this stage!

5. It’s not just a computer, it’s a giant coupon!

Look at your computer in a new way—there are thousands of coupon deals, coupon groups and discounts available every day. Virtually everything you buy and do can be found at good to extreme discounts. Start shopping with a new rule—before you buy anything, you look for the coupon or discount you know is right there in your computer.

And, dear shameless money savers, as you start to create new and innovative ways and means to outrageously save money, remember too, that money-saving and recycling internet companies and careers are now one of the fastest growing business trends! The money you save may be your next Career

The Challenges Leaders Face, and How to Spot Them

Having written about bad managers, I feel it is my duty to also report on the flip side, namely the bad employee. These are the nightmares of management and HR and usually just as difficult to get rid of as a bad boss. Having been in management for almost ten years has showed me a wide variety of the different kinds of bad employees, and here they are:

1. Mr./Mrs. Jekyll and Hyde

These are the people who are overly friendly on the outside. The ones who tend to have a huge, fake smile on their face, while almost hugging you when telling you “HELLO!” Of course, this is until you turn around. Then the dagger stares come out and the commentary starts. There are just as inauthentic as the huge smile they are sporting. They tend to be loyal to only one thing and that is their own interests. Don’t dare to make it on their “bad” side, as they will go out of their way to make your life miserable. They also tend to complain a lot about room temperature and noise levels, or get super sensitive about the same stuff they do all the time. Their second name is “hypocrite!”

2. The Busy Body/Gossip

These are the ones who focus on everything but their own job. Eager to give you “advice” and monitoring your every move, those are the types that feel their opinion is not only wanted, but asked for and absolutely necessary for the success of the business. They tend to consistently overstep boundaries and make rude, racial or otherwise inappropriate remarks and can’t wait for another sad victim to feed them with any type of confidential information; which they will promptly distort and spread all over the floor.

3. The Delusional Type

Oh, what fun it is to share metrics with that type! Because nothing is ever their fault, things were always out of their control, or they simply didn’t do it. You present them with numbers; they claim the system was reporting them wrong or that the system was down. You tell them about situations you have observed and they’ll look you straight in the eye, claiming that you saw it wrong, or that it was a one-time thing that never happened before. Either way, you (the manager) are the one who has the wrong perception and you only have it out for them; or you are discriminating against them…

4. The Drama King/Queen

These are the ones who stand out with passive-aggressive and completely unprofessional behavior, which includes rolling their eyes, making comments under their breath, throwing arms up in the air and fists on the table. The bigger the audience, the better the show. Anything to get that attention. Sometimes, but rarely, their behavior can be less dramatic. My personal favorite used to do yoga in meetings, read magazines or fall asleep! You can’t approach them, because they’re also delusional and of course, it wasn’t their fault and they feel justified behaving like complete jerks in the office. When you “threaten” them with a write up, they run to HR and claim you are treating them unfairly or you are too harsh.

5. The Eternal Victim (Also Known as Master of Excuses)

As we know, I already love this type outside of the office, but to manage them is even more of a nightmare. Of course, just like the other star employees mentioned above, they really shine when it comes to not taking responsibility for anything, blaming everyone else and having zero accountability. Everyone is out to get them and they cannot succeed, no matter how hard they are trying. When you have to discipline them for lack of performance or anything else, for that matter, they will either get defensive or start crying, and then they usually promise you to get better. This promise lasts for about two minutes. They are like a virus, and instead of doing their job or “getting better” they tend to bring the entire team down with their negative and bad attitude.

6. Debbie/David Downer

The company sucks, the managers suck, the benefits suck, their job sucks and, over all, they really don’t want to be here. However, they’re here because they need a paycheck and said crappy benefits. Instead of doing their job and maybe improving their environment, they do as little as possible, and spend the rest of the time complaining to everyone, co-workers, HR, managers and Facebook. Trying to coach them or giving them a better perspective has the same effect as sharing your feedback with the parking meter.

7. The Gamer

These are truly my favorites, because these are the only type that I can immediately fire. I’m talking about people who game the system; people who fake their timesheets or steal from the company. The “lesser” gamer is the one who waits until one sick occurrence falls off the calendar, and then immediately goes and takes another sick day. They are technically always playing by the rules, but actually doing just the absolute smallest amount to get by; but usually wonder the loudest when they don’t get the promotion or raise they feel they deserve. When you’re making them aware of their patterns, they claim that the patterns are a coincidence

When your child wants to play ball in the house
and they knock something over. Instead of punishing
or yelling, first cool yourself down and then ask them to go outside.
-When your child wants to climb on the furniture.
Prop some pillows up with an old mattress instead.
Or encourage them to climb in the trees.
-When your child wants to pull on the cat's tail,
see if they want to play tug of war instead.
-When your child starts mushing their food around,
put them at the sink with water and toys.
The thing to remember is that if your child has an idea that
you don't like, they don't need to be reprimanded for it.
Often times their ideas come from a sincere desire to learn and
explore the world. If you punish them for this, you will teach
them to be less confident, less independent, and harm their
natural sense of self-esteem.
By talking to them in a respectful and mature way, you will
not only foster their confidence and self-esteem, but you will
also teach them to talk to you in a respectful and mature way.
Since children model what you do.
By getting upset at them, they feel bad about themselves
and act out later. It becomes a vicious cycle.
An alternative is an excellent way to treat your child with respect
and at the same time allows them to be part of the decision making
process. If one alternative doesn't work for them offer another.
This has happened countless times with our son. I offer
him one thing and he says no, I get frustrated, but keep my cool and
offer him another. Then he happily agrees. He's waiting for
something that's closer to the learning he needs to do.
For example, he's trying to hammer a nail in to the floor,
I offer him some wood and he isn't interested. I then offer
him Styrofoam and he's excited and ready to work.

Try this the next time your child does something you don't want them to...

First, EVALUATE the situation and think of an alternative.
Refrain from getting upset at your child and just offer them something else
right away. Make it clear in your tone of voice, and in a loving manner,
that they need to select an alternative because their present actions aren't
acceptable for you.
Try this out a few times over the next week and notice how your child behaves differently.

We all get "stung" by people we care about. We get hurt. And it can cause us to want to close off, disconnect, and stay away from people. We question whether or not we can or should ever love again.

Often if we are hurt by somebody close to us, we want to disconnect from everybody. It doesn't always happen this way, but it certainly does seem to be that way a lot.

While driving last week, I wondered why...

Why is it that being stung by one person causes us to withdraw from other people?

Why can't we just say "Yeah that person hurt us. But other people are still safe to connect with"?

Interesting questions. In my case, they're not just interesting. They're highly relevant to my situation in life.
  
Without going into a lot of details right now, I will share that I have been experiencing a lot of emotional pain lately. My present life circumstances are painful. And these present-day painful experiences are also triggering me to re-experience emotional pain from my past. I'm getting a "double whammy" of pain.
  
When I feel into that pain, what I notice is that I tend to withdraw from a lot of people. It's unconscious. But it took a 6-month old girl to show me what I needed to see.

My heart is hurting and there was a little 6-month old girl smiling at me, reaching at me, asking me to hold her and love her.

And I felt cold. Disconnected. Uninterested.

Rather than "believe" my feelings as being how things are, I asked a different question:

"Why is it that my pain from a totally unrelated experience causes me to not want to pick her up?"

A lot of people run from pain. They fear it. Subconsciously, experiencing emotional pain is the equivalent of dying. That's how I used to live my life... running from the pain. Covering it over by "going out and having fun." Doing whatever it took to "stay positive."

But that's not a full existence. That's denial of reality. That's denial of who I am as a total human being, happy and sad, angry and friendly, hateful and loving... the entire gambit of experiences I have as a person on this planet.

And so rather than run from this "menacing" (aka beautiful and loving) six-month old girl, I felt into the emotional pain I was experiencing. I questioned why my pain kept me from loving a baby who was a pure expression of unconditional love.

What I experienced was profound for me.
  
When I am in emotional pain, each relationship that is full and heartful is an immediate reminder of the inner experience that "I can't have what I want."

We might not always consciously equate pain immediately with wants. But every time we feel emotional pain it's because we're not getting something we want. We expect and WANT reality to be a certain way. We feel pain when it turns out differently.

This can be any kind of experience.

Maybe it's the pain of driving across town to a favorite restaurant, only for it to be closed.

Or perhaps it's the pain of a friend hurting us when all we wanted is to feel connected.

Then there's the more obvious close and intimate relationships that have conflict, difficulty, or even that end... when we just wanted to be closer.

In the extreme, there's the death of a loved one who we wanted to stay in our lives forever.

So when I feel hurt, I recognize that it's because I "want" something I can't have. Usually it's some experience or expression of love.

Therefore, when I am hurting and in connection with an expression of compassion and love, that contrast is a clear reminder that I can't have what I want. I'm subconsciously reminded of my pain. Then I disconnect and distance myself from others.

Fortunately, the other day there was a little six-month old girl smiling up at me, melting my heart, and challenging me to love more fully. The beauty is that she didn't do it by trying to teach me. She didn't want me to love her better. She didn't want me to love her more. She wasn't trying to make me smile.

This little baby was a pure expression of unconditional love who casts a bright light... which serves as a bright light on the shadow of my pain.