Overcoming Non-Compliance

By Coach Tom Dozier

Non-compliance is a very upsetting child behavior.  One skill that
you can use to directly address non-compliance is to have the child
repeat the expectation.  This has an almost magical effect on your
child's behavior.  I was in a school hallway, and there were 7 second
graders milling around.  The teacher walked through and said, "Kids,
go on outside.  You are supposed to be at recess."  She walked into
her classroom, and I watched the kids.

They were unaffected by being told (nicely) what to do.  So I
decided to try the Immediate Expectation tool.  I said, "Kids, where
does your teacher expect you to be right now?"  They looked at me and
one said, "Outside at recess."  I said, "That is exactly right. Thank
you!"  I paused, and stood there, and the kids turned and walked outside.
So I said, "Thank you. That's great." (this provided a positive response
to their appropriate behavior).

Instead of telling a children what to do, ask them.  If the child
says it, it greatly increases the probability he will do it.  This is
true for kids of all ages.  Often a child will protest instead of
answering the question, "But I hate homework."  Stay calm.  Listen
to the feeling and respond with empathy.  "I know you don't like
homework.  That is pretty normal, but what do I expect you to do
right now?"   The child will protest 2 or 3 times, but 97% of the time
the child will tell you what he is expected to do.

Once the child tells you what is expected, it is very important
that you give a strong positive response like, "Thank you, that is
correct."   Next, give the child a few seconds (or minutes if the
child is angry). Give the child time to start meeting the expectation.
Once the child starts meeting the expectation, be sure and provide a
positive response to the behavior.

A mom attended a parenting seminar I gave at the local community
college, and returned home to find her husband and 5 year old daughter
yelling at each other about the daughter going to bed.  This had been
going on for 20 minutes, and the husband threw up his hands and said,
"She is all yours!"

This very predictable conversation then played out.  Predictable,
that is,as long as the mom remains calm, and uses expectations rather
than orders...

Mom, "Dear, what are you supposed to be doing right now?"
Daughter, "Getting ready for bed."
Mom, "That's right, honey.  And what 4 things do you do to get
ready for bed?
Daughter, "Put on my jamies, brush my teeth, brush my hair and give
hugs and kisses."
Mom, "Very good answer."
Daughter, "But I don't want to wear my jamies, I want to wear my
undies!"
Mom, "That is fine, so after you take your clothes off, what will you
do next?"
Daughter, "Brush my teeth."
Mom, "OK dear, are you ready to show me that now."
Daugther, "Ok Mommie."  (and the daughter went off and got ready
for bed).

It is normal for the child to protest 2 or 3 times before stating the
expectation.  Respond to protests by being understanding, and state
the child's feeling, then ask what is expected, like this.

Mom, "Dear, what are you supposed to be doing right now?"
Daughter, "I don't want to go to bed, I'm not sleepy."
Mom, "I can see you are still wide awake, but what do I expect you
to do right now?"
Daughter, "I want to stay up and play.  I didn't get to play with
my dolls today!"
Mom, "I know you love to play with your dolls, but even so, what do
I expect you to do right now?"
Daughter, "I hate going to bed.  It is no fun."
Mom, "Honey, I know there are lots of fun things you would rather
do, but what do I expect you to do right now?"
Daughter, "Get ready for bed."
Mom, "That's right, honey.  Thank you.  And what 4 things do
you..." (see above).

If the child protests a 4th time (unless you can tell she is about to
cooperate), just state the expectation, and turn away, like this.

Mom, "I'm sorry this is difficult for you, but I am glad you
understand that I expect you to be get ready for bed."
Daughter, "But I'm not going to bed" (maybe yelled as Mom is
walking away).  - or - Mom, "Daddy (or to another child), What do I
expect Sarah to do right now." Daddy, "Get ready for bed."
Mom, "That is exactly right.  Thank you very much." (then mom and
dad walk away).

Once the desired behavior starts, mom or dad needs to be positive
and say something nice and brief like, "Thanks".
:)

WHAT IF IT WERE POSSIBLE TO BEND REALITY!

By Bruce Muzik

Well, I have good news. Your mind can create any reality you desire and design. Let me give you an example from my own life.
A Miraculous Example...

My wife and I chose to design a two week motorcycling holiday to India.

Four weeks later, an old friend invited me out for coffee.  While sipping our coffee, he began to tell me about Enduro India, a 14 day motorcycling trip through India to raise money for charity. He proceeded to invite Adele (my wife) and I to join him on this two week motorcycling trip to India. I burst out laughing, almost choking on my coffee! Our mental program had manifested into physical reality in less than 4 weeks!

An important thing to note is, had I tried to buy the motorcycles, arranged to ship them to India etc, this trip would have turned into an organisational nightmare. The trip with Enduro India was effortless as it was all organised for us.

YOU ARE ENGINEERED FOR EFFORTLESS SUCCESS

The human mind is much more powerful than any supercomputer on earth. Your mind is capable of launching your life into the Success stratosphere, if you would only let it. There is a part of your mind that is used to guide you towards your goals. This part of your mind functions a lot like an internal GPS navigation system, except that its function is to direct you toward your goals.

Unfortunately, if you do not know how to use this internal navigation system, it can also guide you towards goals and outcomes that you really don't want. If you are not getting results in any area of your life, it is because your internal navigation system is not programmed to produce the result that you want. All you need to do is give it a new target. That's it! To give your internal GPS navigation system a target requires knowing the language of the Unconscious Mind. 

FORGET SELF-HELP

To be successful in life does not require digging up the past and reliving all the traumatic events that shaped your life, as most Self-Help gurus will have you believe. That is dogma that comes from the belief that human beings are fundamentally flawed and need help!

I promise you, there is NOTHING wrong with you and you have everything you need to live the life of your dreams. All you need to do to is 1) design a life that you love, 2) harness the power of your mind and then 3) live life Now. Sound simple? It's easy when you know how...

THE SECRET TO LIVING A SUCCESSFUL LIFE

The secret to living a successful life is not learning more knowledge. It is not even applying the knowledge that you already know. The secret to living a life filled with accomplishment, satisfaction and joy lies between your ears in the grey matter called your brain. Learn to use your mind and it is all over. It really is that simple.

IMPRINT your goals on your subconscious mind, so that your mind automatically begins attracting miraculous events into your life.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article and I look forward to connecting with you very soon!

Life ROCKS!

Discover The Secret To Achieving Total Success At Hyper-Speed!

Discover The Secret To Achieving Total Success At Hyper-Speed!

flickspire - Clay Buddha Story Video

flickspire - Clay Buddha Story Video

The 10 Most Desirable Traits in Human Beings

By Carmen Honacker

No one is free of flaws and quirks. But there are ten personality/character traits that attract the right people and circumstances into one’s life. One could say that these are the character traits of highly successful people.
1. Integrity
The true definition of integrity comes from the Latin word integritas, which means “whole” or “intact.” It encumbers all the traits that make a truly “good” person, such as honesty, being incorruptible, straight and morally upright.
A person with integrity won’t lie, will keep their word and won’t screw you over. They won’t go behind your back, badmouth you, go after another person’s partner or cheat on you, and they adhere to a code of ethics that may make them predictable, but safe to the heart and one’s sanity. No unpleasant surprises come from someone with a high sense of integrity. They follow a code of ethics that tends to be, as the word suggests, incorruptible, and they adhere to principles of common decency.
2. Courageousness
Let’s face it, people. Who wants to be with a coward? Someone who can’t and won’t stand up for their own beliefs will definitely not stand up for you or anyone else. Courageousness may not seem like such a big deal to some, but upon examining history, one notices that cowards are not too different from criminals. Why? Because most atrocious crimes to mankind would not have succeeded had it not been for the silent bystanders and those who looked the other way. No courage usually also means no principles, which will make you expendable for the simple reason that a coward will only do the least effort required and will tug tail and run when true work is required.
3. Sense of Humor
Life has ups and downs. There will be good times, bad times, hard times and easy times. Everything is easier if one keeps a sense of humor, or at least surrounds oneself with those who have one. There is a reason that poll after poll shows that most people desire a sense of humor in their partners. I also feel that someone who makes me laugh most of the time will probably not make me cry too often either. For some odd reason, this equation works for me.
4. Intelligence, Education and Common Sense
I have met plenty of people in my life with high IQs and no common sense. My personal belief is that common sense, social intelligence and “street smarts” are pretty much the same. Being able to solve the most difficult mathematical problems won’t make anyone a great partner or friend, if they cannot hold a conversation, relate to other people at all and have zero social skills. Social skills or relating to others are abilities required to use common sense, which dictates what or what not to do or say in every day settings. Overall, I don’t think any further explanation is required when it comes to this point.
5. Emotionally Open
No one wants to be with someone who is so closed off that they can’t show the most “normal” emotions. If you have ever tried to be friends or have a relationship with someone who has the emotional depth of a rock, you’ll know what I mean. How would someone who has a hard time feeling, or showing feelings, relate to you? I feel that the happy medium is our friend here. There is a difference between someone who is so closed off that they just look at you blankly, or worse, scold you or put you down when you’re feeling sad or miserable, and then there are those who break down as soon as someone looks at them the wrong way. Being able to share one’s heart doesn’t mean that one has to be a weakling or whiner. Someone who can’t feel is usually damaged goods, and lack of depth in emotional matters usually translates into lack of depth in other matters!
6. Kindness
Kindness protects you from all kinds of heart-aches. Kindness is like integrity. A person who possesses kindness will usually keep your heart safe and your best interests in mind. Their willingness to help others also translates into someone who knows how to put another’s needs ahead of their own when needed. A kind person carries a light, and that light tends to attract other “good” people too.
7. Self-Confidence
Everyone is low on confidence now and then. But stay clear of those with literally no self-esteem. A person without self-confidence/self-esteem spells disaster, because they will fail on numerous other “must-haves.” They are usually driven by self-preservation, and will do almost anything to overcome their feelings of inadequacy. This can make them psychotic and distrusting, and possibly even make them into stalkers. Which, in return, almost always ensures dishonesty, a closed heart/inability to truly feel and experience love and joy, a lack of integrity and definitely no courage. They’re usually a bucket with a huge hole in the bottom. No matter how much love and care one will pour into them, it will never be enough to make them feel safe, loved or good enough. After all, it’s impossible to love and care for someone who doesn’t love and care for themselves!
8. Discipline
There are different levels of discipline, that’s for sure. But avoid those who have absolutely no discipline at all. It requires discipline to succeed in life. Anyone who throws in the towel at the first sign of difficulty or opposition will not make a great long-term companion. This is because discipline translates into stamina, i.e. staying power. A person who can’t stick with anything for a longer period of time because it’s uncomfortable or means work is, again, someone who is either not confident or lazy. In either scenario, it’s not going to be a winning situation for you, because if they can’t stick with their own goals, they won’t stick with you either.
9. Generosity
One of the worst people to have in one’s life is a miser. Those who constantly complain about the money they don’t have, especially while spending it on things that don’t serve them, are not only annoying, but also no fun to have around. The opposite of generous is selfish, and who wants to be with a selfish person? Being miserly also tends to show individuals who are very preoccupied with material, i.e. superficial things. Combine that with the constant complaint about not having enough, and you’ll get a good picture of how life with someone who can’t be generous looks like.
10. Self-Awareness
I can’t stress the importance of self-awareness enough. Most people believe themselves to be all kinds of things which they are not. This is due to the fact that they aren’t really all that self-aware, and hence don’t ever check to see if their idea of who they are actually coincides with what other people see about them. Self-awareness is the fine middle ground of truly knowing your strengths and weaknesses without being either completely weak and self-loathing, or arrogant and narcissistic. Self-awareness allows us to know when we are way off our rocker. It allows us to see when we are wrong/screwed up and need to possibly adjust or change certain behaviors and patterns. Self-awareness allows us to look in the mirror and see who we really are; not who we think we are or hoped we were. People without self-awareness cannot grow, because they will never learn from past mistakes. They are literally blind and lost souls, stumbling after what looks and sounds the most appealing. Without self-awareness there is no truth, just illusion; and a perpetual cycle of trying to find what they think will make them happy. If you don’t know who you are, you sure as hell won’t know what makes you happy.
If you cannot be these things yourself, you probably won’t attract them in others. While we will always attract those who challenge us, and may push us to grow and overcome certain things, we still attract those who are like us. The key to finding one’s own happiness is to be the things that you require and wish for in another

Don't Let Judgment Rob You of Success!!!

By Dr.Robert Anthony
We talk a lot, in our work with Personality Filters, about
developing compassion, both for yourself and others. We say that
when you understand why someone behaves the way they do, then you
are more able to feel compassion instead of judgement toward them.

Typically, when we judge someone we are making a whole host of
assumptions. Take a simple judgement: "She should be on time". Is
that true?

Do you know:

-If something unavoidable occurred to prevent her from being on
 time?
-What lessons she is learning in her life by being late?
-If being on time is an important standard for her?
-If her inner guidance was keeping her from a certain intersection
 at a certain time?

The bottom line is that you don't know, you never really know what
someone else's path in life involves. Therefore, the answer is
always, "No, it's not true". It's just your opinion.

Having compassion does not mean that you have to condone someone's
hurtful behavior, but it does mean that you don't judge the person.
Now I imagine that some of you are thinking, "What about
criminals?" I'm willing to bet that the most heinous crimes are
committed by people who had heinous things done to them as
children. Does that excuse or justify their behavior? Definitely
not. But if you knew their story, you would feel more compassion
for them. We see this in our work in the judicial system, where
judges pass judgment on the action of an individual, while
remaining compassionate to the person.

Our day to day judgments are typically not of that magnitude.
They are mostly about things that we believe other people should be
doing based on our own values, standards, wishes or needs. So the
next time you find yourself judging someone, take the judgmental
thought and ask yourself; Is that true? Can you know with
absolute certainty that it is true? If you're not in that other
person's skin the answer has to be - No, it's not true.

Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation
that you are making progress - IF YOU LOOK FOR IT!  No matter how
large or small, please record it in your Evidence Journal. It will
only take a few moments and will AUTOMATICALLY put you in the Flow.

Psychic Workout: Create a Mantra to Change Your Energy

By Psychic Marin

Mantras are syllables, sounds, words, or phrases repeated in a rhythmic fashion in order to create a vibration. The Sanskrit word mantra contains the root word “man” (“to think” or “the mind”) and the suffix “tra” (use with tools or instruments). The literal translation means “instrument of thought.”
When reciting a mantra, the words and letters are not merely means of communication, but concentrations of energy, each producing a different vibration and frequency. When a divine mantra is spoken, the vibration holds various degrees of energy and power, whereby sounds produce change in one’s reality.
The most basic mantra is the sacred “Om” – or, more accurately, “Aum” – which in Hinduism is known as the energetic and vibrational source of all things or ideas in existence.
Another well known chant is the Tibetan Buddhist mantra “Om Mani Padme Hum,” often referred to as “Mani.” This is the mantra which embodies compassion. The most common method for practicing this mantra is to focus on feelings and emotions pertaining to compassion, towards all beings in the universe, while slowly reciting this mantra 21 times – or 108 times, if recited with the use of Mala beads.
There is a Tibetan teaching about a son who was worried about his mother. Because she was uneducated and not a follower of Buddhism, her son was worried that when she died, she would suffer because she did not pray. So the devoted son taught his mother that whenever she heard a bell, she should immediately respond “Om Mani Padme Hum.” They made a game out of it, and when he would visit and ring the bell at the front door, she would recite the mantra, and together they would laugh. When he was not there, and she heard the cow bells ring in the back yard, she would take a moment in prayer, and recite the mantra. Time passed, and eventually his mother died. She found herself in the underworld, in a huge iron cauldron being stirred by a terrible demon with a great spoon. Fortunately, when the spoon struck the rim, it produced a familiar ring and she immediately responded with the mantra as she had been taught, “Om Mani Padme Hum.” She was instantly relocated to the Land of Dewachen, the heavens, where like everyone there, she became one of the Enlightened Ones.
Reciting a mantra has the ability to transform your reality, and certainly there is an energy you would like to bring into your life. Sit for a moment and think about what this may be. Perhaps your desire could be associated with a new years resolution. Could it be health, diet, financial or love? There are several sayings or phrases that you may want to adopt to use as a mantra to recite in your life. Feel free to use some of the following suggestions, or create your own mantra.
“Om Mani Padme Hum.”
“I am protected.”
“The more you know, the less you need.”
“Nothing feels as good as thin feels.”
“I am open to abundance.”
“I embrace love in its absolute fullness.”
“I choose to do what I can, and I can do anything.”
1. Sitting quietly, close your eyes and breathe deeply for a moment.
2. Keeping your focus, ring a small bell, chime, or finger symbols (zills) to condition your mind to associate the ringing of bells with reciting your personal mantra.
3. Begin reciting your mantra slowly with a vibrational tone in your voice. Continue repeating your mantra.
4. If your thoughts begin to wander, repeat the ringing of the bell, and maintain your focus on the vibration of your mantra and the meaning behind the words uttered.
5. Continue saying your mantra for several minutes and begin to visualize the effects of the mantra as the desired outcome manifests.
6. End your session by sitting quietly for a moment and focusing on your breath until you are ready to open your eyes.
Adopt a routine by spending a few moments each day devoting yourself to prayer and reciting of your mantra. As the Tibetan story teaches, whenever you hear a bell chime in your daily activities, take a moment to recite your mantra. Remember that your words are reflective of energy and transformation of your reality. For although there is a general meaning that will become associated with your mantra, the deeper significance is the change you’ll create.
Faithfully,