My Fatal Flaw One of my fatal flaws is that I obsess over negative situations. When something bad happens I have a hard time thinking about anything else. A recent problem put this habit to the test, and thanks to a friend's wisdom, I discovered the magic of turning bad into beautiful. Craig Ballantyne Failure isn't bad. Failure isn't final. If there is one thing I know after having observed this crazy world for 36 years, it's that you can SURVIVE almost anything and come back better and stronger than ever before. Don't let the fear of failure stop you from achieving the success you deserve. Turning Bad into Beautiful

By Craig Ballantyne

Late on a Friday afternoon is the worst time to receive an email containing bad news related to business. It leaves you with the entire weekend to think about the problem because it can't be resolved until everyone returns to work on Monday. Unfortunately, I had this happen to me recently.

Due to a boneheaded decision on my part, a joint venture partner and I had a falling out. I take all the blame. It was entirely my fault.

The email not only voiced their displeasure but also ominously requested a phone conversation early the next week. Thanks to my inability to compartmentalize negative thoughts I spent the entire weekend with the impending uncomfortable conversation dominating my thoughts.

It's much like when a catchy tune gets stuck in your head, except this was the stressful, "have-nightmares-about-it" version. I kept running through the phone call over and over again in my mind, trying to figure out how it would go.

There were two things that helped me work my way out of it, and turn bad into good.

First, there was this quote that I had posted on the ETR Facebook page just a few days earlier. As this quote says, when you mess up, you are actually being given a chance to learn a lot about yourself.

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." – Bernice J. Reagon

Second, I have an incredible network of people who can keep me level headed in these situations. After I explained the situation to ETR Publisher Matt Smith, he said something that was both wise and helpful.

"When something in life occurs that is troubling, we are not supposed to dwell on the thing itself. Instead, the focus should be on our obligation to turn this bad thing into something beautiful. It's not easy. But, if you focus your creative energy away from self torture and onto 'how you can turn this into something beautiful' pretty remarkable things start to happen."

And so over that weekend, as I tried to avoid mentally torturing myself, I discovered something 'beautiful'. I realized that in order to get through the weekend and to get over the stress, I was re-doubling my efforts at doing good things.

I spent more time in my forums answering questions on a more extensive level than normal. I put more thought and effort into Turbulence Training and ETR articles for the next two weeks. I worked harder on next month's Turbulence Training workouts for my fitness business.

This "focus on good" elevated me from my bad mood, relieved the pressure, and turned the world positive again.

To make matters even better, my call with the upset joint venture partner turned out to be positive. My apology was accepted, and instead of conflict, we are now in co-operation. I've gone from embarrassed to enthusiastic, and look forward to working with this company on future products that will help them and you.

There's a lesson here for all of us.

When things go bad, double up your efforts on doing good things. It makes you feel better, and may help even the karmic scale. You can turn bad news into something beautiful by taking positive action towards your mission and vision. Live positive.

As Dave Kekich says, "High self-esteem can only come from moral productivity and achievement." So when things turn bad in business for you, turn them beautiful by taking action, being productive, and improving the lives of your customers and clients.

Hopefully you can take a beautiful message from my bad mistake.

Please also realize that turning something bad into something beautiful is not a fix limited to business. It can be applied to other areas of our life. For example, let's say you are going through a divorce or loss of love of any kind. Everyone's been there. We've all had bad break-ups.

But understand it's probably not your fault. Whatever led to that loss of love is their problem, not yours. And so it's not a time for you to wallow in self-pity, for that will do you no good.

Instead, this is the time to be at your most beautiful. If you're funny, you shouldn't hide inside watching reruns of "When Harry Met Sally". You should get out and get together with your friends who love you for being funny. If you're a natural born-organizer, you shouldn't be at home torturing yourself and analyzing what went wrong. Instead you should be organizing a party with all of the people who matter to you and still love you.

Here's what you need to do to start turning the balance of bad into beautiful. You need to simply take action, get moving, and build some momentum. Taking a walk, a simple stroll in some fresh air, is the easiest way to get started on your road to recovery.

During my tumultuous weekend, what helped me get better were the multiple dog walks out on the farm that I had to do each day with my chocolate lab. The walks allowed me to clear my head and use my creativity to identify solutions to the current issue. In fact, just one of those walks brought me six ideas I could use to fix the mess I had found myself in.

Don't dwell on the negative. Instead, focus on what you can do to turn the bad into beautiful. As Matt said, flip your creative energy from self-torture to making the mistake into a positive opportunity. When you identify good things that you can do or the benefits of this new life change, remarkable things will happen. Change your perspective and opportunity arises out of the ashes.

You'll find solutions for your problem. I promise.

That's not bad.

That's beautifu

Breathe in the energy of your yes…

An INSIDE Job

Good Morning Great Day: "Your inner reality will always create your outer circumstances." The moment you begin to  relaize that the results you are getting in your life are a direct result of the thoughts you think, you are welcoming in a whole new way to view your life. You are finally on the road to creating the life you dream about. So here's the deal. Everything in life happens for a reason. And guess what you are that reason. You make it all happen. The way that your life unfolds is in a direct relation to how you see the possibilities for you. And that is determined by how you connect to your internal energy of awareness and greatness. It's not rocket science. It's simply about whether or not you are creating from your inner strength or your outer I hope this works mentality.  just for today let go of he need to be right and embrace the energy of possibility for your life. Listen to your intuitive voice and free your imagination to roam the plains of your mind that empower and inspire you. Make each choice you make count. Make each action you take be a decisive and determined success step. Look within for the answers and then create the outer magnificence of the masterpiece called you in the most powerful way possible. You can do this. I know you can! Today's Meditative Thought… Learn the lesson in every experience you have Today's Affirmation… I AM Great I Am Phenomenal I AM Magnificent I AM Beautiful I AM Extraordinary I AM Willing To HAVE IT ALL Today's Intention… Before I take a step I will listen to my inner source of inspiration and commit to always choosing in my favor. It's YOUR day, Make it a GREAT ONE!

Take Your Dreams Seriously

Five simple words from Dave Kekich should be all the inspiration we need to take action. In his 100 Kekich Credos, #83 states, "Nobody gets old by surprise". It's true. We all know that we have a limited amount of time in this life, so why do we delay taking action on what is important to us? 

Think about what you accomplish if you really focus for the next 12 weeks. After all, that's only 0.3% of your life. Surely you can commit to that, can't you?

Craig Ballantyne

"Whatever your dreams are, start taking them very, very seriously." – Barbara Sher

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The Deadline for Your Life

By Craig Ballantyne and Alwyn Cosgrove

In 2006 his cancer returned. Already having beaten it once, and despite being a young, fit, former world-champion Tae Kwon Do martial artist in his early thirties, Alwyn Cosgrove was being challenged with the fight for his life.

The survival rate for those who deal with Stage IV cancer is slim. Yet with the support of his wife Rachel, and his never-give-up attitude, Alwyn won the battle, and remains cancer free over five years later.

As a result of his life-threatening experiences, Alwyn now has less time than ever for worrying about petty details, negative people, or the minutiae that often stresses out the average person. Like Lance Armstrong, Alwyn is quick to remind me that he "only has good days and great days". There are no bad days now compared to what he had gone through in the past.

Alwyn's attitude on life and wisdom about the world are just two of the reasons that he remains one of the few fitness experts I subscribe to and look forward to hearing from each week.

It's also because every few months Alwyn sends an email that reads like a cold bucket of water to the face. I want to share his latest with you today. It was sent on April 1st, but has just as much – and perhaps even a greater impact – today.

Here's what Alwyn wrote:

"So here we are again. Today marks the 25% point of the year. Sorry – it's not an April fools joke.

The entire first quarter of 2012 has already passed– we are now three months into 2012. 90 days are gone forever.

Are you on track with those New Years Resolutions? Are you on track with your goals?

If you wanted to lose 20lbs this year – are you down 5lbs already?
If your goal was to do 250 workouts – have you completed 62 ?

It's amazing how time passes so quickly. If you need a "do–over" then I'm going to give you one.
You can REDO your New Years Resolutions right now and get started all over again.
That's right – I'm letting you off the hook – but don't waste a single second.

If your goal is (insert anything here) – start TODAY !

25% of this year is gone forever. Will you make changes TODAYor will another 25% pass, then another 25% –– and before you know it – it will be 2013.

I meet a lot of people in my job, and get a lot of questions via email. I'll talk to guys who track every single macronutrient that passes their lips, and have tried just about every program out there. When I ask them how things are going, they'll tell me that it's great, or that the program is working well.

However, very few people actually measure and take stock of their efforts. If you are following a plan to lose fat – are you actuallylosing fat? And I mean at a rate that is acceptable for your efforts? Or are you blindly following a plan that doesn't work, and essentially ignoring that?

I know where my progress towards my goals stand because Imeasure it.

When I was in the hospital for a stem cell transplant – the medical team took measurements of temperature, blood pressure and blood samples every 4 hours.

When we implement a marketing campaign at the gym, we trackthe results. We know for example how many direct mail pieces we send out, the cost of each mailing, how many inquiries we get, how many appointments are made, and how many people join the gym as a result. We know exactly how effective the plan is, and whether the return we are seeing is worth the investment.

We can see that for $X invested, we receive a return of $Y.

We need to know where our membership stands – how many inquiries, how many new members, renewals, etc., and when our busiest times are. Everything is measured and tracked so we can continue to grow and serve our members.

If you remember "SMART" goal setting –– one of the keys is 'M' – Measurable. Measure your results.

As we enter the second quarter of 2012, it's time to take stock of your efforts. Has your current return been worth the investment?

Again, 25% of this year is gone forever. Will you make changesTODAY or will another three months pass, then another six –– and before you know it – it will be 2013.

Don't waste a single second. Start TODAY.

Where will you be at the 50% point – July 1st? That's 12 weeks away. Will you be 12 weeks leaner – down 12, or even 16lbs of fat?

Will your business demonstrate 12 weeks further growth – will you be 12 weeks closer to your goals?

The time will pass anyway."

Thanks Alwyn, I love these reminders you send.

To me, the last line is the knockout punch. The time will pass anyway. The time is passing right now. Soon another day will be gone. Will you be any closer to your goals? If not, what can you do right now to change that?

If it's better health that you want, be proud of the healthy changes you are making in your life. There are many more folks secretly wishing someone will take charge and be a healthy role model for them. It might not happen overnight, but if you continue to lead by healthy example – without preaching or being condescending – you can build an entourage of social support and people who want to be healthy like you.

If you feel like you're spinning your wheels and not making any progress, one solution is to put more urgency into your life. Here's what you need to do.

First, identify what it is that you truly want to accomplish. Second, outline what you need to do to get there. And third, give yourself a deadline. (Bonus fourth step: Cut that deadline by 20%. Don't worry, you'll reach it.)

These steps are simple, but effective, because they combine the power of a vision with the urgency of a deadline to help you finally accomplish the dreams that have been on your list for what seems like forever. 

Live the Life You Dare to Live

At some point it will be up to you – and only you – to make the decisions on how to live. Whether it is who to vote for, what diet to follow, career to choose, what expert to listen to, or what to believe about the economy. There will never be an area of life where every 'expert' is in consensus, not in health, not in real estate, and not in fixing the economy. And that's good news. Because it gives you the opportunity to choose what is right for you. Today, we dare you to choose. We dare you to live the life that you dare to live. 

Craig Ballantyne

Taking the path less traveled, against my inner resistance and excuses, has made all the difference.

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I Dare You

By Susan Fujii

When you were a child did you ever accept a dare from a friend? Or play the famous game "Truth or Dare"? I still remember sweating it out when it came to be my turn, wondering which would be worse:

Squirming uncomfortably in my chair while someone asked me a truly embarrassing question that I did not want to answer (and I'm a terrible liar so that was never an option for me - everything I feel and think is written all over my face), or being forced to summon the courage to do something physical that was probably even more embarrassing!

I can still remember my heart beating wildly and my extreme nervousness just before I had to choose. It was terrifying!

But I also remember the absolute thrill of having successfully completed a dare, the adrenaline rush, the appreciation of my friends, and the burst of confidence (and sheer relief!) that came with succeeding.

Daring is not just for silly childhood and teenage games. On the contrary, the most successful leaders and investors in the world are the most daring people of all.

Who immediately comes to mind when you think of the world's most successful leaders and investors?

Maybe Warren Buffett, George Soros, Jim Rogers, John Paulson, all billionaire investing legends?

Or Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Jesus, Martin Luther King, Jr., all inarguably strong leaders able to touch millions of people's hearts and lives?

And what do these successful investors and leaders have in common?

That's right, every single one of them lived a daring life. They dared to challenge the status quo and fight for what they believed in.

Warren Buffett didn't look around at his peers and say to himself, "Well, they're all buying dot com technology stocks, I guess I will, too". Instead, he is well known for sticking to the courage of his convictions and going against the grain when "everyone" else was participating in the crazy dot-com mania.

Likewise, Gandhi didn't look around at his countrymen and say, "Well, I'm sure someone else will take care of those pesky British; I think I'll have another loaf of bread." No, he too stuck to the courage of his convictions and continuously stood up for what he believed in, freeing the entire country of India in the process.

What does it mean to dare?

The dictionary tells us that 'dare' is defined as a verb meaning, "to have the courage to do something", and as a noun meaning, "a challenge, esp. to prove courage".

And that is exactly it, to dare is to summon your courage so that it is stronger than your fear and to take action in spite of not knowing the outcome.

When you think about it, this is exactly what successful leaders and investors do.

Leaders summon their courage, take calculated chances, and continually live outside of their comfort zone. Leaders by their very definition are not followers.

Successful investors – and leaders – are daring. They consistently summon the courage of their convictions to go against the herd. They have the guts to buy when everyone else is selling and to sell when everyone else is piling in.

When was the last time someone dared you to do something? I would hazard a guess that it's been awhile, maybe even as far back as grade school, or possibly college, depending on your peer group.

If someone dared you to make a million dollars, would you try it? Would you even attempt to do it? What if someone dared you to make just an extra $1000 in one month, would you do it? Would you at least try to do it? What if someone dared you to learn and make just one new investment or trade before the end of the next quarter in an entirely new asset class, would you do it?

I hope so!

It seems that as we "grow up", somewhere along the way our lives become filled with responsibilities and with all of the things we feel we "must" do, instead of with the things we feel "inspired" to do or "dare" to do or "dream" to do.

We settle in, watch the nightly news, faithfully contribute to our 401k's, talk about the stock market with our co-workers and neighbors, and tend to the responsibilities of everyday life. Rarely do we dare to do anything different or to challenge the status quo.

Daring becomes a forgotten game of childhood, something relegated only to our memories.

But this is a mistake!

In order to be a successful investor, you must dare. Dare to live your life differently from your co-workers, dare to go against the grain of herd mentality, dare to take a chance and to try new ways of doing things, dare to take a stand on issues that are important to you, and most importantly, dare to be different and to challenge the status quo.

In investing, daring to be different is known as being a contrarian.

Contrarian investors are those lucky few who realized in 1999 that "irrational exuberance" meant that you should sell all of your technology stocks at the top of the market (or who like Warren Buffett never entered that frothy market at all).

Contrarian investors had the courage and the guts to stay out of the amped up housing market in 2004 - 2006 when "everyone" seemed to be successfully flipping houses and making a killing in real estate.

Contrarian investors dared to buy gold and silver back in 2002 - 2003, when most people thought they were crazy.

Contrarian investors today wisely question the herd mentality of systematically contributing to their 401k's and "hoping" that it will be enough for the future. They seek out alternative investments and viewpoints, challenge the status quo, and always think for themselves.

But what about you? Do you want to live an inspiring, daring life? Do you remember the exciting feeling of playing that game of "I Dare You"?

If so, then I have a challenge for you...

I Dare You to become a contrarian, to buy when no one's interested, and to sell when everyone wants in. Go on contributing to your 401k if you must, but seek out new investment ideas and always think for yourself.

I Dare You to become a business owner or entrepreneur rather than or in addition to an employee, to reap the bountiful rewards of owning your own business, including time freedom, no income ceiling, control over your circumstances, control over your taxes, control over your life, and so much more.

I Dare You to become a leader, not a follower. I dare you to stand for something, make your life be about something, to mean something to the world and stand up for what you believe in. Search for your purpose, live from your soul, love from your heart, and inspire others to do the same. The world needs good leaders; the world needs you now more than ever.

Most importantly, I Dare You to discover your unique brilliance and share it with the world.

"I Dare You, who think life is humdrum, to become involved. I dare you who are weak to be strong; you who are dull to be sparkling; you who are slaves to be kings. I Dare You, whoever you are, to share with others the fruits of your daring. Catch a passion for helping others and a richer life will come back to you!" - William H. Danforth, I Dare You! 

The Lost Secrets of the Ten Commandments

When most of us think of the Ten Commandments we picture Charlton Heston, his wild hair streaked with white, staggering down the mountain bearing tablets of stone -- waiting for Cecil B. DeMille to yell "Cut."

That literal depiction of the Book of Exodus seems as far from being relevant to our own lives today as do the ancient sands that Moses trod upon and that have long since blown away.

But we would be wrong.

All great spiritual teachings have hidden levels of meaning that our unschooled eyes simply cannot see.

And they are always about one thing, and one thing only: the secrets of self-transformation. They are passed down to us across the ages as timeless guidelines; within them are secret instructions for seekers longing to realize a conscious relationship with the Divine.

And the Ten Commandments are no exception. They are an amazingly profound set of inner laws that you can use to learn about who you really are and all that you have the capacity to become. Much like a ladder that bridges places that can't be reached otherwise, these steps to self-realization have the power to:

• Help you remember your true role in life, and reclaim your right to rise above anything that you now fear
• Reveal the parts of you that have been sabotaging your relationships and causing you to make bad choices
• Strengthen your intuition, connecting you to a more complete way of seeing so that your whole life comes into focus and begins to make beautiful sense

Turning Defeat into Victory

In the last couple of years I've come to a strange conclusion. I believe that everyone would be better off if they stood in front of a crowd and admitted their biggest mistakes and embarrassments. Then with that out of the way, they could get on with being completely comfortable with themselves and confident around others. 

After all, things couldn't get any worse (read: more embarrassing) than that, and they'd quickly realize that the "worst" never turns out as bad as they fear. It's one way to turn defeat into victory. Today, Robert Ringer shows you another.

Craig Ballantyne

"Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him." – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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By Robert Ringer

As you can imagine, I receive a lot of e-mails from people who share their woes with me – particularly during these bad economic times. And while I can't answer all of them, I do try to read each and every one.

I not only do it because I feel a moral obligation, but for selfish reasons as well. You would be amazed at the continuing education I receive from my readers' e-mails.

The following e-mail, from "G.H." in the West Indies, is a good example of what I'm referring to.

I am an avid fan. I am committed to change since I believe that, in spite of my talents, it is the shoot-from-the-hip, BS from the mouth that has me where I am today – over forty, no savings, and re-starting my business every Monday morning.

I have had far too many peaks and troughs since I started my business back in 1994. Sometimes the troughs were very deep and excruciatingly painful, only because I never stuck with anything long enough.

I was always leaving for a trip here, another opportunity there, getting sidetracked, and sometimes opting to party and enjoy life instead of attending to what needed to be done.

Thank you for your thorough explanation of this thing called persistence. I am encouraged.

What struck me about G.H.'s e-mail was his willingness to bare his soul and be totally honest – not so much with me, but with himself. By doing so, I believe he has already taken the first step toward rising above his past mistakes and achieving the kind of success he clearly aspires to.

Admitting your mistakes may sound like a small thing, but it's not. On the contrary, you cannot navigate toward success until you have gone through the catharsis of being honest with yourself about the real reasons for your failure. Not excuses for your failure, but reasons.

I thought about G.H.'s e-mail the other day when I was strolling on the Mall in D.C., reflecting and contemplating. What caused his e-mail to come to mind was something I happened to read on the south wall of the World War II Memorial:

The Battle of Midway – June 4-7, 1942
They had no right to win. Yet they did, and in doing so they changed the course of a war... even against the greatest of odds, there is something in the human spirit – a magic blend of skill, faith, and valor – that lifts man from certain defeat to incredible victory.

– Walter Lord, Author

The moment I read these words, it became one of my favorite quotes. Walter Lord was a gifted author who wrote extensively about World War II and other historic events, such as the sinking of the Titanic. He had a long and productive career, passing away only recently (2002) at the age of eight-five.

What immediately struck me about this quote was Lord's gift for sculpting words. As I have repeatedly stated, it is not a writer's duty to come up with new thoughts. It is his duty is to craft ageless wisdom in ways that bring about epiphanies in the minds of his readers.

What a poetic and accurate way to describe the uniqueness of our species: "Even against the greatest of odds, there is something in the human spirit – a magic blend of skill, faith, and valor – that lifts man from certain defeat to incredible victory."

Is this not the story of virtually all great successes? G.H.'s tale of woe describes the predicament that much of the human race finds itself in today. Between the brutal realities of government redistribution of wealth and oppression combined with our own human flaws, it can be quite difficult to pick ourselves up and trudge forward.

But the fact is that just about anyone with reasonable intelligence can do it, because the human spirit really does possess skill, faith, and valor.

Skill. You are born with one or more unique skills, and it is your job to discover what those skills are.

Faith. Faith is belief, and belief is a choice. In Star Wars, when Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog, Luke Skywalker says, "I don't believe it." To which Yoda responds, "That is why you fail." As much as I'd like to, I can't improve on Yoda's explanation of why faith is so crucial to success. Who am I to question a Jedi Master?

Valor. Valor is courage. Because you have free will, you canchoose to be courageous. In other words, valor is a state of mind.

The bottom line is that the magical blend of skill, faith, and valor is always available to us. Unfortunately, we do not always utilize these powerful tools. But when we do, we indeed have the capacity to lift ourselves from certain defeat to incredible victory. We see this happening and read about it virtually every day of our lives.

So if G.H.'s e-mail seems to describe your own situation to one extent or another, take heart. You can begin moving in the right direction today simply by utilizing three remarkable human traits – skill, faith, and valor – that are already available to you. 

The Power of Delight...

Almost every morning Matt Smith sends me a link to another fantastic article he's discovered on the web. One morning it was a link to this piece by Jonathan Fields on the importance of delighting your customers. After reading Jonathan's thoughts, this idea has been incorporated in every email I send. It's a message that will stick with you, because you sure don't want to be doing it all wrong.

Craig Ballantyne

"Stand out. You must stand for something and attract the right people while not being afraid to repel the wrong people. You need to over deliver, give faster results than promised, and become the go-to leader for your market." – Bedros Keuilian

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By Jonathan Fields

What if we were doing it all wrong?

According to my genius friend and founder of Riddle & Co., Jeff Riddle, businesses are going about growth all wrong. They spend every waking hour and huge line items in their budgets on customer acquisition. Then, once a prospect becomes a customer, they all but forget about them. The common ethic, in fact, is to do the minimum necessary to keep an existing customer from leaving. That's where the "sad state of affairs" bar has been set.

How messed up is that?

Not just from a feeling good about what you're doing and how you're treating others standpoint, but according to Jeff, it's horrible for the bottom line, too. Analyzing large volumes of data, he was able to determine that 70-80% of new customers were generated not by formal acquisition and marketing initiatives, but by word of mouth from the 5% of existing customers who were most delighted with the product or service.

Newsflash – when you blow peoples' minds in unexpected ways on a consistent basis, give them more than they expected and – check this out...actually treat them like you'd want your mom (assuming you love your moms) treated, guess what happens? They can't shut up about you! And when they tell someone exactly what you'd say in an advertisement, it carries about 1,000% more credibility.

I've taken this approach in business over and over, it's extraordinary how well it works. And how much more fun it is building a business based not just on the drive to acquire, but on the quest to delight. In my recently launched venture, Good Life Project, I have a line-item in my budget for delight. And I have a Director of Delight. Serve, solve and delight, in fact are among the core ethics in the culture I'm helping to cultivate, and it's also one of the 10 Commandments of Epic Business.

But, here's the thing, this isn't just about business, it's about LIFE! YOUR LIFE!!!

When we look at the key relationships in our lives, we often do the exact same thing. We spend all of our time, energy and money on acquisition, then once we've converted someone we shift into "minimum maintenance mode"...and wonder why everything falls apart.

Think about it. When you're single, you really take care of yourself, you go to the gym, exercise, eat better, dress better, engage in activities that make you come alive. You leave little notes, text sweet messages, create surprise meetups, try things you'd never try in the name of finding new ways to connect, make time for dates, walks, hand holding and more.

You are in full metal relationship acquisition mode and you do everything you can to create the best marketing impression possible.

You start to attract interesting "prospects" and eventually "convert" one to boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, spouse or partner. You keep the same high level of engagement up for a bit, but then what starts to happen? You start to feel a little too secure. You take the relationship for granted. You stop thinking about how to attract and delight that person any more and just work on the assumption that everything's pretty much locked and loaded.

Except, it isn't.

Nobody likes being treated like a foregone conclusion.

We thrive on knowing that the person with whom we've chosen to dance WANTS us in their lives, thinks about us all the time, loves to be with us, cares about us and loves seeing us delighted. And not because we demand it, but because they light inside at the thought of making us light up inside.

So, what might happen if you repositioned "relationship acquisition" not as an end, but an invitation.

An opportunity to consistently surprise and delight the person with whom you've connected? In ways they'd never see coming? Even the smallest ones, just enough to let them know "I'm thinking of you, you matter to me, I appreciate you!"

In business, your marketing, sales and acquisition costs would plummet. In life, the quality, depth and duration of your relationships would take off.

And, rather than spending all your time trying to figure out how to get peoples' attention, you get to spend your time plotting and scheming ways to blow their minds. And inspiring your teams and tribes to do the same. What do you think would happen to employee turn-over when the single overriding purpose of every person on your team is to serve, solve and delight?

Sounds cool, right?

But what about the habituation situation?

The what?

Habituation. Our stunning ability to absorb good and bad into a new equilibrium.

Picture this...

It's a Friday night and the spouse brings home flowers unexpectedly. Wow, what a delight.

Same thing next week on cue, how lovely.

Same thing next week, nice color.

Same thing next week, whatever, put 'em in a vase.

What began as a delight has been demoted to an expectation.

Human beings have a remarkable ability to habituate both up and down. What elevates us in the beginning becomes baseline over time. So if we're striving to always delight, doesn't this create a bit of a hedonic delight treadmill, where we've got to keep raising the bar higher and higher to deliver the same hit