Drop the Painful Defense of a Life Filled with Pretense

Discover the Difference Between Real Strength and False Strength

By Sir -- Guy Finley

We can all see that pretending to be strong just doesn't work. From our own experience with pretense we've learned that, eventually, life calls our bluff and we're revealed to be unequal to the challenge. And who hasn't suffered from believing in the pretend strength of others?

Most people want very much to be strong, but they do not seem to be able to find the real strength they yearn for. Instead, they find qualities that pass themselves off as strength, but secretly leave them feeling weak. Here are some examples of false strength:
- lashing out in anger when frustrated
- demanding that we are right
- blaming someone else for causing the problem
- being loud and intimidating, or cold and critical
- feeling confident because of any contrived appearance

By contrast, here are some examples of real strength:
- remaining calm in a crisis
- never feeling the need to prove ourselves to anyone
- seeking to solve the problem rather than placing blame
- enjoying self-command regardless of uncertain circumstances
- seeing all setbacks as necessary steps to higher success

What a different kind of life would be led by someone who displayed the qualities in the second list as compared to the first. It is possible for any of us to achieve that different kind of life, but only in proportion to our willingness to see the difference between real and false strength. Our growing understanding of the difference is key, for it brings about an inner change that puts us in an entirely new relationship with life.

Study these two lists and try to see their great difference, not only in the individual areas of strength, but also with regard to the whole human character from which they arise. Welcome your new discoveries, and then watch how your new understanding of strength and victory lifts you into a realm of peaceful power where self-rule is sovereign. You will grow weary with your own idea of strength with its accompanying false excitement. You will gladly sacrifice it so that you may experience a higher wisdom that will be strong for you. What relief you will feel in coming into the real self-command of realizing you never had to be strong at all in the way you always thought you did.

Discover the Difference Between Real Strength and False Strength

We can all see that pretending to be strong just doesn't work. From our own experience with pretense we've learned that, eventually, life calls our bluff and we're revealed to be unequal to the challenge. And who hasn't suffered from believing in the pretend strength of others?

Most people want very much to be strong, but they do not seem to be able to find the real strength they yearn for. Instead, they find qualities that pass themselves off as strength, but secretly leave them feeling weak. Here are some examples of false strength:
- lashing out in anger when frustrated
- demanding that we are right
- blaming someone else for causing the problem
- being loud and intimidating, or cold and critical
- feeling confident because of any contrived appearance

By contrast, here are some examples of real strength:
- remaining calm in a crisis
- never feeling the need to prove ourselves to anyone
- seeking to solve the problem rather than placing blame
- enjoying self-command regardless of uncertain circumstances
- seeing all setbacks as necessary steps to higher success

What a different kind of life would be led by someone who displayed the qualities in the second list as compared to the first. It is possible for any of us to achieve that different kind of life, but only in proportion to our willingness to see the difference between real and false strength. Our growing understanding of the difference is key, for it brings about an inner change that puts us in an entirely new relationship with life.

Study these two lists and try to see their great difference, not only in the individual areas of strength, but also with regard to the whole human character from which they arise. Welcome your new discoveries, and then watch how your new understanding of strength and victory lifts you into a realm of peaceful power where self-rule is sovereign. You will grow weary with your own idea of strength with its accompanying false excitement. You will gladly sacrifice it so that you may experience a higher wisdom that will be strong for you. What relief you will feel in coming into the real self-command of realizing you never had to be strong at all in the way you always thought you did.

Practical ways to love yourself!

Practical ways to love yourself! By Aine Belton

There are, of course, infinite ways to love and to care for yourself. The possibilities are endless, and will depend on what is most appropriate for you at a given time, what brings you greatest joy, and what honours and fulfulls your heart’s wishes and soul’s purpose.

You already do love yourself, likely more than you are aware, yet if self-love feels new to you and you want to experience and develop more of it, there’s no shame in what may initially feel like ‘faking it till you make it’.
When you start to act more loving to yourself you will ignite a renewed relationship with yourself and step onto a path to a blossom-rich horizon. You will also reprogram your subconscious mind with a new way of being and relating with yourself.

Loving yourself may involve pampering and treating yourself in luxurious ways, yet it may also include less glamorous endeavours, for self-love is about doing what most serves you and your soul at a given time, and honouring and respecting yourself accordingly.
Loving yourself could be:

Cleaning your home, organising papers and accounts, eating healthy food, paying bills, clearing debts, etc.

Ending sabotaging patterns, habits or addictions.
Seeking the help, healing and support that will help you make the transition to a brighter future.

Setting new inspiring and enlivening goals, raising your standards and reaching for more.
No longer sacrificing to please others.
Being honest and intimate with yourself and others.

No longer settling for less and setting respecting boundaries.
Living somewhere that you truly love, or transforming, decorating or renovating your existing home to surround yourself with an environment that is beautiful, meaningful and heart-warming.

Nourishing and caring for your body, such as eating healthy food and exercising regularly. You might join a gym, get a personal trainer, or begin fun healthy activities like salsa, yoga, or a new sport or activity like hiking or running.
Doing 'nothing' and spending time relaxing, reflecting, de-stressing or simply ‘being’.

Treating yourself to the pleasures of massage, a facial, pedicure, beauty treatments or a new hair-do.
Buying new clothes that reflect your truer self.

Taking up or renewing a creative hobby or passion, be that singing, writing, walking, painting, sailing, or photography, for example.
Listening to and honouring your feelings.

Going on weekends away, short breaks and holidays to inject greater fun, happiness and adventure into your life.
Being in touch with friends and loved ones, and expressing the love you have for them, which will be nourishing not just to them, but to you as well.

Speaking kindly to yourself, seeing your value and goodness, affirming your positives and being grateful to yourself.
Having a night out on the town: going out for a fabulous dinner, dancing, to the movies or theatre, whether alone, with a friend a friend, or romantic partner.

Meditating.
Being true to yourself, upholding principles and standing your ground if required.

If you tend to save or hoard money, it could be having a care-free ‘splurge’.
Treating yourself does not need to be a great expense, however, and can be having breakfast in the garden on a sunny morning, taking a walk in the afternoon, having a bubble bath, a candlelight dinner in, going for a swim or watching the sunset.

Spending time in nature to bask in its beauty and grace. We all have favourite nature spots. For some it is the ocean side, for others the beauty of a spring meadow, for some it is to walk down country lanes, or enter a forest or grove. Perhaps you love riversides or waterfalls, or wide vistas and open landscapes with far reaching views, or hill tops and mountains.
Appreciating yourself for all your gifts, qualities, strengths and achievements, and having compassion and love for any perceived 'ugly sides', weaknesses, stresses, trials and tribulations.

Forgiving yourself for all 'mistakes' the lost or wounded you may have made, and letting go of negative self-concepts and beliefs.

"All my limitations are self-imposed and my liberation
can only come from true self-love."
- Max C. Robinson

"If you put your mind to something you can achieve it."

You probably don't regularly choose your thoughts,
or instruct your subconscious mind.
Instead, your mind and subconscious mind are probably working
on autopilot - just doing what they want when they want
with no clear instructions.
You're probably not even aware of the thoughts you have everyday,
and you probably didn't choose the beliefs you hold.
As a result your mind is constantly sending the
wrong messages or wrong instructions to you subconscious mind.
And that's how you end up failing or not getting what you want. 
I know you want to be successful, wealthy and happy...
but do a thought checkup... and you'll find that you
probably have thoughts and beliefs that don't allow you
to be successful, wealthy, happy or enjoy the kind
of life you want.
If your mind is on autopilot (like most people) then
you're not actively choosing your thoughts and beliefs.
Instead, you're accepting what your mind comes with
(on it's own) and what other people
tell you... now wonder you don't get what you want!
I've analyzed people who try to do everything they can to be
successful and happy (but just aren't getting anywhere).
After examining their thoughts and beliefs I find
what they think and believe is the exact opposite
of what they want to achieve.
Sure they want to be successful but they really don't have any
thoughts or beliefs that allow them to succeed,
be happy or be wealthy.
What ever you want to achieve you can if you have a belief system
that allows you to succeed.
If you want to make more money you have
to have a belief system that says you can make more money.
If you want to meet the right person you have to believe
that you can meet the right person.
If you want to succeed at something you
have to believe that you can succeed.
So how do you create beliefs that correspond with what you want to accomplish?
First think about what you want to achieve.
Then ask yourself if you really believe that
you can accomplish this particular goal.
If you don't believe you can there's work to
do and you're going to have to change your
belief system so that it allows you to succeed.
To change your belief system you have to
analyze your thoughts and list all the thoughts
and beliefs that you have about achieving that goal.
For example: if you want to make more money
but you're not making the kind of money you
want then list why you don't think you can
make more money.
Now change those thoughts to correspond with what you want.
These are your new thoughts, statements or affirmations that you
should think and recite through out the day.
Replace those limiting thoughts with these new thoughts.
If you want to achieve success and happiness then you have to
create thoughts and beliefs that will allow
you to achieve those goals.
Begin changing your thoughts.
Begin creating beliefs that work for you.
Eliminate the negative thoughts and beliefs.
Start creating the life you want today

Let Go Off the Stress...

I am not going to pretend that everyone faces the same kind of
stresses daily that I do, or many of us..I advise daily who are
constantly looking for ways to minimize the stresses that plague
them. But I can offer you SEVEN stress-management strategies
which can be used to reduce the stresses in your life:
[1] Lower Your Exposure To Media
You are unlikely to be surprised when I tell you that the majority
of information coming from television and newspapers is negative
and causes fear and worry. Sure, we all want to stay connected to
the outside world and know what is going on. But the majority of
that information is delivered after being filtered according to
what sells. Bad news draws us back to the media source more than
good news does. An unfortunate side effect is stress, but it does
keep the media companies in business. Realize this and try to keep
the world picture they paint in perspective.
[2] Sever Your Toxic Relationships
Your relationships with other people, especially those you see on
a daily basis, have probably the most profound influence on the
quality of your life. Toxic relationships, which are all too
common, can be a source of extreme stress. If you have people in
your life who are obnoxious, controlling, disrespectful or
unnecessarily intimidating, you need to find a way to minimize
your exposure to them. This can be hard to do, but the payoff
in stress reduction can be HUGE.
[3] Revise Your Nutrition And Your Exercise Schedule
I'll cover this in more detail some other time, since I can write
volumes on this subject! The most important thing I can remind you
about is that food with poor nutritional content (which is just
about every piece of food you have access to during your working
hours) is going to poison your system and stress your metabolic
and nervous systems. On the same note, unless you are exercising
with the intent of reversing the effects of aging, your lack of
physical activity will only compound the other effects of stress
in your life.
[4] Get A Decent Amount Of Sleep
Try to get a full 8 hours of sleep each night. I read about a
recent study which showed that people who lack sleep end up
gaining more weight than those who get proper rest. Lack of
sleep elevates your stress, and stressed out people eat more
junk food to try to relax themselves. At least, that's my take
on this.
[5] Meditate
Meditation is a wonderful way to cleanse your mind. It can help
eliminate obsessive thoughts which worry you unnecessarily.
Meditation also gives you an opportunity to focus your attention
on developing practical plans of action for getting what you
want, and for creative problem solving. This is a habit that has
been practiced for thousands of years, and for good reason,
it works!
[6] Bring A Pet Into Your Home
While I think this is especially good advice if you are single,
studies also show that couples who have pets have a better
chance of maintaining a healthy relationship. I have two dogs that
help keep me grounded and more physically active than I otherwise
would be (since I have to take them on long walks). Pets add a
great deal of joy to your life because their love is unconditional
and they are always there when you need them. Also, they give you
a greater sense of purpose in your life because you have something
counting on you for survival.
[7] Increase Your Financial Independence
I left this one til last because I wanted to underscore its
importance. Lack of money is right up there as a source of
severe stress in the lives of most people. Many personal
relationships come apart at the seams when money does not
materialize at the rate that people had hoped for, and it can
be easy to blame the other person for where you are now in
your life. This is why getting on top of wealth creation can
be one of the most important things you can do to reduce the
stresses in your life. ..

Numeralogy..

Numerology is the study of your date of birth and your first and last names to determine your character and your future. To do that, Numerology converts the letters of your first and last names into numbers between 1 and 9, and then interprets the results.
Numerology is based on the principle that your first and last names can be expressed as numbers. Each letter of the alphabet is associated with a number between 1 and 9, as the following table shows:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
A B C D E F G H I
J K L M N O P Q R
S T U V W X Y Z 
You calculate how many times each number in your full name appears. Then you determine which are the missing, dominant and extra numbers. Using the inclusion grid below, you can get some idea of the result.
Number 1 Number 2 Number 3
Number 4 Number 5 Number 6
Number 7 Number 8 Number 9
Using this grid, you can determine a certain amount of data about your character and your future.
Despite the fact that it deals with numbers, Numerology isn’t rocket science, and anyone can use it in their day-to-day life.
Basic Numerology has a certain number of applications that allow us to know the tendencies of our character in various areas of life: money, love, Luck, health, evolution, etc.
I am now going to explain an original form of Numerology – the Basics of Evolutionary Numerology – that should tell you about the abilities you need to develop to evolve, and the obstacles you should avoid to make progress and become happy as rapidly as possible in this life on earth.
You can’t change if you don’t know yourself, if you’re unaware of all or some of your qualities, as well as your faults, the unconscious obstacles that are slowing down your evolution.

Know yourself and know the universe!
It’s always difficult to know yourself through your thoughts, because we’re all aware of only a part of our thoughts – the conscious part – highly developed or not, depending on our experience and evolution.
 
Many subjective elements, like education, self image, our ability to admit our faults and shortcomings (which is generally very difficult)... play a part in our judgment. Rarely are we objective about ourselves, especially when it comes to recognizing our faults.
Evolutionary Numerology can be of great help in such cases, because it’s a totally objective science based on the interpretation of a grid that has been proven effective over the centuries.

Create your “Numerological Identification Card”
Evolutionary Numerology is an objective mirror of your personality, with its positive and negative sides. It forces you to confront yourself, and accept your psychological blocks and your faults.
I’m not making any judgments or pointing any fingers here. All I’m saying is that it would be a good idea for you to have a “Numerological Identity Card” that is as precise as possible in helping you avoid the obstacles to your success in life.

The method of Evolutionary Numerology
The method of Evolutionary Numerology is based on the study of full and empty lines in the following grid, called the inclusion grid :
3 6 9
2 5 8
1 4 7
Full lines determine your qualities and the gifts you should develop to evolve, while empty lines indicate the main obstacles you have to avoid to evolve.

Interpreting the lines
Each line gives rise to an interpretation.
Interpreting full lines
1-2-3: organizational abilities, talent as an orator and inciting people to work for a cause.
4-5-6: strong willpower, good sense of reality, great working ability.
7-8-9: common sense, preference for action over discourse and theory, altruistic, with a strong desire to help others.
3-6-9: highly developed humanistic tendencies, sense of responsibility, huge intellectual abilities.
2-5-8: great adaptability to change, understanding new situations and new environments.
1-4-7: facility to attain wealth and achieve goals, temperament of a leader or manager.
1-5-9: rapidity of action and execution, determination, love of humanity.
3-5-7: great intellectual ability, important sense of creativity and innovation.
   
Interpreting empty or incomplete (partially full) lines
If the same lines aren’t full, they give rise to a different interpretation.
1-2-3: important to be careful about what you do, to know who you’re dealing with in all areas; ensure that contracts and alliances are applied and respected.
4-5-6: tendency to be indecisive, lazy; frequent mood swings.
7-8-9: tendency to be egotistical, neglect responsibilities and lack vigilance.
3-6-9: tendency to avoid responsibility, forget to keep promises.
2-5-8: concerned only about yourself, tendency to remain immobile; conservative thinking that makes it difficult to change habits.
1-4-7: difficulty taking time to think, sometimes leading to precipitate action.
1-5-9: difficulty relaxing and communicating; tendency to become isolated.
3-5-7: difficulty trusting people, lack of self confidence.

A practical example
To use Evolutional Numerology, all you have to do is take your date of birth and put the numbers in the first grid (shown above), indicating how many times each number in your date of birth appears.
For example, if your date of birth is 23/01/1987 you have:
the number 1 appearing twice, so you write 2 in the box corresponding to the number 1, on the bottom left;
the number 2 appearing only once, so you write 1 in the box corresponding to the number 2, which is above it;
the number 3 appearing twice, so you write the number 2 in the box corresponding to 3, on the upper left;
the number 7 appearing once, so you write the number 1 in the box that corresponds to 7 in the lower right;
the number 8 appearing once, so you write 1 in the box that corresponds to 8;
the number 9 appearing once, so you write 1 in the box that corresponds to 9 in the upper right.
That gives you the following personal grid:
2 0 1
1 0 1
2 0 1

Interpretation
You interpret the full lines on the grid first, in this case lines 1-2-3 and 7-8-9, then you do the empty lines. In this case the only empty line is 4-5-6.

Concerning the talents you should develop , refer to the full lines
If we refer to the interpretation of line 1-2-3 , we can say that this person should develop and use their organizational talents, either in an area they’re already involved in, or in something new they have yet to discover and exploit. They should use their gifts of expression to convince people who could be useful in developing their projects.

If we refer to the interpretation of line 7-8-9 , we see a person of action who should not forget to take time out for reflection. They should not be egotistical, and try to figure out how their actions can help others. That will bring great benefits, both in a literal and figurative sense.

For obstacles that should be avoided, refer to the interpretation of the empty lines
If we refer to the interpretation of line 4-5-6 , we can see that indecision is to be avoided at all costs. This person has to learn to balance conflicting interests and react quickly, or miss out on opportunities. They have to stay calm under any circumstances, because anger does not make a good advisor. They should also avoid being lazy, since laziness is their weakness. They should get things done in time, and rest only when their tasks are accomplished.

A New thought Every Day!!!

Start your day with a clear intention
to feel good. Before your feet hit the
ground, list 5 - 10 things you
appreciate.
Continue through your morning giving
thanks for what's ahead. You'll be sending
intentional energy in front of you.
Do this for a couple weeks and watch
what shifts for you.
Miracles can occur before your eyes when
you choose the best thoughts and feelings
you can!
You might even develop a new life long habit!